Progress Reports !!!

Tomorrow my teachers will be handing out my progress reports! Hope my grades are good!!!!! I'll post later!
~miky~

Just my luck!

Hello everyone! Just writting to let each one of you know that am alright! Life is pretty darn sweet! I am loving my senior year even though it is hard work! I am enjoying most of this time with my new friends! Hope eveyone is alright! Juan dude call me! Miss you lots! Spiderman I love you, and u can't deny u love me 2! hahaha! See u people!
much love!
~miky~

Too young to...

Tonight I find myself laying on top of my bed trying to fall a sleep. As I lie on my bed I open my eyes and stare at my roof, as my mind flies to my deepest thoughts... I start to think and think and think some more! I ask myself the reason of my sleepless night. I can't seem to find the answer to my question, rather I find myself asking myself other questions! Was I too young to do certain things in my life? Was I too young to fall in love? Now a days I find myself with a certain degree of lack of commitment! I can't seem to get my feelings straight! I know I am not in love with anyone right about now, but there is some attraction to a younger guy! He is great and as always good guys are either gay, married or committed! This guy is taken! He has girlfriend. Leaving that a side, I couldn't get some sleep! It was hard to get my mind of him or anyone for that matter! It was almost impossible to get some rest I had to go through many things to get to sleep! I finally went to sleep after all of those inconveniences I got to sleep for a while, now there is only that doubt. Am I or am I not to young to...

Can it be?

Life is a box full of surprises! Surprises can either be good or bad. Tonight I am here asking myself : What kind of surprises does life hold in for me? I am going through a stage in life where I question myself what does every little thing mean. I have found myself questioning my decisions, many of them. Can it be that finding a person that respects me isn't what I wanted? I mean no one has actually disrespected me to my face, but with action you also disrespect people. I have found someone who really cares about me and would give the world to see and make me happy, but I find myself doubting over wether not I want this for my life. My last boyfriend and I ended pretty bad to the extend that we barely speak to each other! The thing was I found out many things about him that I didn't want to believe but did anyhow! Now he and I can't even consider ourselves to be good friends because that trust I once deposit over him is long gone! Still I find myself missing that whole drama and heart-ache. Is it that I trully want to be with him? I know that I don't want to be with him. I found someone who appreciates me and wouldn't hurt me, but I am still not content! What could it be? Have I not learn to respect myself and that's why I don't quite get use to it coming from another human being? Is it that past relationships have made me who I am? I have this concern in my life I wish to calm. Even though I found this special someone I am not in love, could it be that I am afraid to love once more? So many question are born in my head and I just can't answer! As I started saying : "Life is a box full of surprises " I just wish to appreciae more the blessing that I have than to lose a great person like that. I know I won't get to be with him because I've made a decision and I am not planning on backing out. Have we lost our self-respect? Have we lost who we are? Have we traded our morals and believes? Have we hurt ourselves? I soon wish to see... the answer to all of this.

School started!

Wow big news... School started!
School was pretty fun today, wellif you took away the hotness! It was awfully hot today and a matter of fact it is going to be like that for a long time! Snap! Anyways I got to see all well most of my friends that was very fun! I got to see my classmates and my other friends that graduated already. I am happy with what I lived today in school which school would be better!
Well I'll write later cuz I am tired!

Awesome night!

Ohhh I am so glad I went to church last night! My church was invited to this other church in Dorado, a friend of mine invited us. The preacher was really inspired and touched by the Holy Ghost! The verse he used for the sermon was the following: Romans 12:11-12. That night was full of blessings! God is awesome! I just love him so much, he is the love of my life, my Savior, my steady rock, he is never late, he is always there when there is no one to turn to. He is simply amayzing!!!! God is love!
~miky~

I know that I know nothing at all!

Hi!!!! Today I got some really good news! I am getting a job interview pretty soon!!! I might get a job!!! yay!! Anyhow I haven't heard anything from anyone! Yeyo is leaving tomorrow and today is his go away party!!! The only bad thing is I can't go because Stephanie can't go!!! One thing I know for sure is that they are planning on coming over to my house to say goodbye! Isn't goodbye such an ugly word???? I rather say "SEE YOU LATER!!!" It sounds prettier and it gives me hope! Very little days are missing ti'll school starts! I am going to see all of my classmates and all the new classmates I am going to have this year! It's is exciting but at the same time nerve-racking! Hopefully I'll be able to handle school and a job at the same time! God is LOVE!!!!
~miky~

School is starting pretty soon

Hello it is the 7th of August and I haven't done much.
As I once wrote I had to participate in a competition this past Saturday, news flash I WON FIRST PLACE!!!! yay!!! In other news school starts this Monday! I am gonna see all of my friends and get to spend my last year with people I care about. I am looking foward to making new friends and keeping my old ones! I really hope to get good grades again so I can be in the principles honor roll! That's kindda my goal! I am so very happy with the way my life is going right now! I am happy most of the time! Not having to worry about kiddie problems etc. My dad came back from France this past Saturday he couldn't make it to my competitions but he made it in just in time for my gift (lol) I got some pretty nice earings from France!!!! Yay! I miss some people alot, yesterday I didn't hear about Chu or Rafa or anyone for that matter! I couldn't sleep that well yesterday and I just kept staring at my celphone expecting some sort off call but it wasn't from just anyone, it was from someone who mean a way lot to me and even though I knew it wasn't gonna happen deep down I wanted that person to call. As I said that person didn't call but whatever I am still living and breathing. Soon enough life is gonna start getting hectic with all the school work and friend drama! Hope it's not as I think it's gonna be! Anyways I am a whole mess writting this so I'll write later on! bye
~miky~

Today was such a good day!!! My cousins are staying with me this week and today we went shopping and I saw Chu and Yeyo!!! We bought stuff and went to see My super Ex-girlfriend it's hott you've got 2 see it! Anyhow we ended our day eating at Johny Rockets it was good though the service was medeocre! Anyhow now I am leaving or church! A little desappointed because I have these competitions on Saturday and I haven't had time to practice yet!~ Wtite back l8r

Serious Talk.

Yesterday was a nice day for me, I finished buying my school material and at night I went to church with Chu! Afterwards we went to catch a bite at Mc Donalds, there we found another friend of ours, Irvin, it was cool! I need to seriously talk to one of my friends! I am so worried! Till then what the heck can I do?????
~miky~

The way he treats me!!!

I feel like a princess!!!! Maybe better... He treats me as if I was the prettiest girl in the universe, he makes me feel good about myself. He brings the best out of me!! He has been of great support to me these days. He is so fun and easy going, great to hang out with and to have a serious conversation with! He is a new friend of mine! He is not like every other friend I have or had, he doesn't look alike and he sure doesn't treat me like them either, not that I haven't had friends who treat me right but he has been so nice, sweet and I don't know but we have so much in common! Of course we also have differences but we enjoy similar things! I am happy I found this new friend, MY GREATEST FEAR is to fall for him, I hope not. For now we are great friends, the thing is he doesn't remind me in anyway to my best friend, he is different. We both play the drums well he plays and I am trying to play it, we both like extreme sports, we have similar views to the future and people treating others etc. It is fun to be with him. I have found an awesome friend!!! And I sure am greatful!
~miky~

Birthday!!!!

TODAY was my birthday I turned 17~ yay!!! I got calls from everyone!!! Still one person I really wanted to call didn't, but leaving that behind I had a pretty neat time, though I wanted to go out with mybest friend (ex, w/e) I miss him but I can do nothing about it!!! My friends came and visit me I had fun we got wet together (lol) Today 2 guys told me they really liked me! It was kind of a shocker, but it feels good (don't tell them) This wasn't what I expected of a birth day I really wanted to spend this important day with all of my close friends and even though I spoke to most of them, I miss his phisical presence by my side! Change is crude but it has to be done! I am so hurt with his attitudes all the lies and all the things he didn't mean to do but still went ahead and did them. I don't know what to believe anymore I just wish things wouldn't have happend they way they did! I am relieve to know his best friend is in town and can help him in everything I am dying to help him in! He is having it pretty smoothly he has his girlfriend helping him and his best friend! Hope he is doing great, even though I sometime die to call him my too much of a feminist side kicks in and stops me! I just want to leave it clear, and out of the blue, he is and will always be my best friend no matter what! He is family to me! Anyways my birth day was pretty cool, I bought myself some things for my drum set and I am planning practicing with Josue my (drum teacher)(hahaha) and Chu my new ... ( what are you thinking, he is only my new advance drum istructor). Anyways I am really want to watch Little man and I also want to see My super ex- girlfriend!!!!! If anyone has seen them please give me a quick review!!!! Thanks God is LOVE~
~miky~

A spot of light!

Last night was a little rough on me! After spending a pretty decent time with my family( cousins, sibbling and parents) I came back home! Oh well we made a stop at church 'cause you know spiritual things come first! Anyhow I came back home to find myself in a whole bunch of trouble, someone started a nasty rumor about me and some other guys and it got to the ears of those guys and we were all asking ourselves how in the world could our lives get so screwed in such a short period of time???? Anyhow the guys told me to stay cool that they would fix it!!! And I think they did! Well at least one of them!!! My "boyfriend"(lol) as every other person knows him now, but thats over with thank goodness!!! Yesterday I got some weird txt messeges from people I've never expected to get them from but never the less I am just taking some time for myself, tired of being involve in so much drama!!!!! Now I have a few selected friends who I talk 2! Some changes had to be done! Hope they are the correct ones! Anyways thanx for being my blank sheet of paper!!! I love writting! bye laters every one!
~miky~

Friend are like bitches!!!!

Friends change for the stupidest things!!!! Like their Girlfriends!!!! My best friend has changed and his girlfriend is messing with his mind and putting him against me. I am not gonna fight for this for our friendship!!! Now I really don't wanna know anything about him! Screw friends!!! Friends like that though!!! Anyways Forget my bitterness but thats what I feel!
~miky~

Am back

Howdy everyone I am back and really hope it's for a long time but lately I've been a little occupied and haven't had enough time to post anything!
Love you all!! post later!
~miky~

Kiss me...

Do you know what's the real meaning of a kiss?

I must be the most fruitiest person in the whole universe, because I consider a kiss,
the highest expression of love! Why, you may ask? When I kiss someone, that
kiss is full of feelings and emotions , I put my heart in it!!! That's the
chance for me to connect on a higher level with someone I love... I might be
the only person who values the real significance of a kiss, but that makes me
unique!!! I can't just kiss anyone, because when I kiss someone, I am giving them
a little bit of me!!! I am all out there when I share that special gesture with
that special person!!! Kissing is awesome, but people don't throw them around as if
they were nothing, they can speak louder than words if you know how to use them...

Wishing you where here...

It's been almost a month since the BIG BREAK!
3 more days and it would have been a month!! Sad but true!
I MISS you so very much, but sometime I get the feeling that
I have already forgotten you! It's sad to know we will never get
back that opportunity to make it work! Now I just watch a head and
wonder what would have been, but not with sadness in my eyes but hope...
God giveth, God taketh away!!! Maybe someday oh wait that's too late...

Summer Sensation!!!!

It's been a month since I've started my summer vac. and I have done plenty of things!!!
Many of them have been with important people for me and some just happened!!! I am looking foward on
spending the rest of my summer having fun with my friends and family!!!
love you all
~miky~

A little too late...

How confusing can life be? When people are in-love everything changes for them, there are no bad feelings, no doubts, no regrets!!! At least thats what people expect! Recently I was in a relationship where the doubts where always there, It didn't mean I didn't love him though...
I loved him and still do, the catch to all of this was, he had just came out of a relationship to rush in with me! I was scared all those feelings he felt for her would come back and I would wind up all alone and destroyed!!! I know I should have trusted a little more, but in my case everyone knew or thought it would happen, that's why I doubted, I didn't want to be the last to know he didn't really love me! When we broke up it was hard but not as much, now a few days have past by and all that I think is about him. I know now is just too late to go back and try to fix everything and maybe I'll have to learn to live without him, ( am I serious I have been heart broken before, but this one is a bit harder). I'll survive!!! I know I will, the only thing I regret is having that small chance and not really making it work!!! Oh well love starts love ends!!!! I still love you with all of my strengh!!! ~miky~

How to treat your girl friend!!!

Hey guys if you are reading this take note and put it in action...
Simple rules to follow;

a) Love them, and accept them for who they are. (Don't tell her you would like if she was like some other girl, it's not fun)

b) Respect her, give her some space!!!

c) Show her you love her, call her just to know how she is or just to say how much you love her!

d) Call her back!!!

e) Surprise them once in a while!!!

f) Let her know that she is everything for you!

g) NEVER, NEVER compare your girl to any other girl, especially your ex!

h) Make sure to give your girlfriend enough attention, don't give other people more attention than what you give your girlfriend.

i) Trust them, once in a while show her some special treatment, open up to her.

j) Give her some compliments!!! ( hey baby you look gorgeous tonight!) (that never hurted anyone)

k) Be honest, don't lie, much less when it is something very big that will affect both of you!!!!

l) Simply treat her like your girl friend ( your most valuable treasure).

These are some simple rules, easy to follow and will help a lot!! I gave this title to this post but it helps in both ways girls you can also treat your boyfriends the way this says! Remember people treat your other half the way you would like to be treated!!!! Love you all!!!
~miky~

Bad news!!!

Super Bad News!!!
I am extremely sick, I feel terrible!
Don't get scared its nothing serious, I just have a cold!
In the other hand, Puerto Rico's Crisis is over now!!!!
School re-starts on Monday!!! I am not that excited now, I got used to staying
up late and waking up even later, it'll be hard to start waking up at 6:00am!
I am still looking foward on seeing my friends!!!
I miss them a lot!
~miky~

blah

hello everyone!!!!
I am sorry I haven't written lately, its just that I haven't had any decent time to be online!!!
Summer has started, everything is going fine! I miss my friends a lot but I've seen some! Sylvia and I went this saturday to Puerto Rico High Fashion Week!!! It was cool, we saw 2 fashion shows each of different Designers ofcourse!!! We had a pretty nice time together, but even though I was happy I went to such event, I was really happy I spent some time with my best friend Sylvia!!! Yesterday I was shopping for mother's day gifts, after that I went to my other best friends house and we had an awesome time!!!! (lol) My life is really not that exciting but I've been having a NICE TIME during this "summer".
Oh I can't forget to mention I spoke to a very important person this week (Juan, ofcourse) It had been a very long time with out actually knowing anything about him!!!!
well I didn't actually speak to him!!! Thanx God 4 the internet!!!
Love you people!!!
~ MiKy~

La-la-land!!!

I have this term I use when I am in love and that term is lala-land!!! I feel all happy and out of this world and that is exactly how I feel!!! I am in-love !!!!

Love is a feeling you can't control.
I did'nt choose to fall in love with you...
it just kind of happened!!! I am so happy,
because I know you feel the same way...
I wish we could be together forever! I miss
you every second I am not with you!! I love you
honestly!!! I know you must be as excited as I am...
I need to be with you, I need to think of you, I need to see
you, talk to you and be with you!!! I deeply love you!!!
Your love I can't compare to no other!!! I wish we could be
but... only time will tell. Love you with what is left of my heart!!!
Your already a big part of me!!!!
Love you!

School is out!!!

School is over!!!! I have 3 month vacation instead of 2!!! In Puerto Rico we are all living in a crisis!!! There is no money to pay teachers or any employee who works for the government!!!
This is all a big mess I pray to God things get better!!!
Anyways, I wont get to see my friends as often as I used to thats bad for me!!!
Write l8r!!

Just another day!

Hi people!
Today wasn't an extraordinary day! I got to school feeling happy and soon enough my day turned against me. I spent today a bit mad at my friend for acting all stupid towards me, anyways today I had an oral report with my friend Sylvia we where kind of nervous (seroiusly, it was me), but it turned out fine! After that, we just waisted time talking nonesense and making fun of our friend playing pokemon!!! When the day was almost over, one of my closest friends, bursted out how sick he was/is of me and Sylvia "nagging" on him all the time, and wanting to be with him all the time! I have to admit it was a bit harsh, but thats the way he feels, later on it was too darn uncomfortable talking to him. Sylvia and I where astounded by the news but still we tried to act normal, it wasn't easy! I wanted to get up and leave and never talk to him again, but he is our friend and maybe (just maybe) he is right! Thanks God I am home no more school or friend's dilema!!! It is good to take a break from things! I am a little sad, because school is over friday, which means I am not going to get to see my friends as often!!! I'll miss them a lot though we have plans to go out on the summer hope we can actually do them! Oh well I'll write l8r, LOVE YOU ALL!!
DAISY GURL'S RULE!!!!

Take a day!!!

Hi guys!!!! Live day by day!!! And never forget that people somewhere love you just because of you!!! Love you!!!
I love ~the daisy girls~ kisses girls!!!! Oh and I am just too happy!!! God is awesome!!!! See you guys be happy and let God fil your lives... Take a day to love yourselves!!! Thinking of a spa, aren't you!!! hahaha(lol)I'll write later on!
bye!

A thing called love...

My heart is swollen...
My dreams broken...
He took me up
to bring me down...
He made me laugh,
He made me cry...
He thought he loved me,
but that was just one more
of his many confusions...
He showed me life...
But gave me death...
He offered an open door,
which he soon enough closed...
He made me belive we'd be okay,
while he always knew we wouldn't!
Why did he use me?
Why did he play those games?
Why did he make me say all the things I felt?
Why didn't I notice this?
Why was I so darn stupid?
Why did I ever let myself do such a stupid thing?
What did I get out of this, a broken heart?
Why did you do this to me?
Why didn't you think of me, my feelings?
Why, oh why did you hurt me in this way?

"LOVE is only a four letter word...if it really does mean something..then why do some people take it for granted and not mean it?..and if the word LOVE is real..then why can some people say it every other person they meet?"~taken out of an anonymous, written for a friend~
" The ironic thing is I feel the very same way"...

Losing touch...

Sitting, in a hospital, waiting to hear the doctor's news. Bitting my nails, woundering what was going on! I hear a scream, a terrorizing scream! More tension was built inside me!
Where is he, where is he I yelled at the nurse who was passing by- Calm down, she said with a firm voice! I was scared, I was anxious, I was desperate!!! I waited and waited and still no news.
Is he dead? I asked myself!
What is going on in there! I felt like running towards the door and going in to where he laid.
He is the man I love, I answered when the doctor asked for a family member. I am sorry miss you are not a relative, he exclamed! I was devastaded, I tried to persuade him until he said I could go in. When I finally get granted the wish to go see him, I waited out side, took a deep breath and softly opened the door. There he was, laying there, stiff, not moving any muscle! I stood by his side, and soon I bursted out in tears, could it be? Could he really be dead! I rapidly demanded to know. To know why he didn't love me? why he lied? why he cheated? I was furious, but no matter how strong I felt and wanted to kill him, another part of me loved him so... Not knowing what to do! I started to talk to him I told him everything I felt how much I loved him and how much I wanted him to be okay. He is in coma, replied the nurse, she told me that everything would be alright. WAIT, WHAT IS THAT!!!! Why is he jumping whats going on, is he gonna die? why was he there? What happened to him? Get out!!!- The doctor shouted, I was nervous So nervous that I couldn't move!!! The dragged me out of the room I was desperate was I going to lose him? I was so uncontrolable that they took me away...
Where was I going I couldn't see anything! All was dark, I could only hear a vague voice, that said; I love you ... It's time... Hold my hand... Be mine...
What I didn't recognize the voice whose was it! Oh no I can't breathe, I am losing my senses...
Get me out of here ! I yelled what's wrong Can't anybody hear me...

Straight ahead!!

I am in this road, I find myself wondering wich way to go...
I don't know but my life has been taking different turns in which I find myself lost!
I think I know which things are good for me and which are not, but I seem to keep bumping with the same rock in the middle of the road! I am not making any sense I know, but how else do I describe the journey my life is taking me... It is hard for me to accept that I am stuck!! It's like my life has found its' limite, the end of the road, and I can't walk anymore! I am so confused!!! It seems both ways at the end of the road are closed for me... What am I to do?
It is a dark road I walk... Sometimes I think I can see light but it is only an illusion!! I am tired and thirsty this road has gotten the best of me. No matter what I keep walking to find myself still in the same spot. I stumble and I fall, that's when I see the exit, but as soon as I get up it all fades away...

About a boy!

I know I came to you when everything is/was wrong and a mess!!!
I still know I want to be a part of you I want to be that force which sets things right...
I know I don't have super powers to change what is going on... but I want to try and make you happy. All these feeling inside burn, like crazy. I wish I could go right there where you are and love you like I use to and still do. I love you with all my heart, I know it's too late... Please don't tell me you don't love me anymore... Give me a chance to show you how much I care!
When I close my eyes the first picture I have is yours, I want to leave all behind and run away with you...
Just to feel you close for the very last time!!! I wish I could explain myself better, but if I could just look at you, you would know what my heart wants to tell you...

The roller coaster ride!!!!

Jajaja! Really pathetic of me, I haven't been anywhere yet!
I named this post the roller coaster ride, because this is actually the way I am feeling!
I feel like I am in a roller coaster, because sometimes I am up and some down, and needless to say all those turns I take! Today I am feeling neutral, there hasn't been any great impact! I am alone withmy mother, which isn't technically bad, but it's not fun! I miss going out and I wish I could go out right now! I had a desperating dream last night!!! That's why I woke up feeling funny today! Anyways I have nothing to write about so, I'll write l8r on!

Swimming in deep waters!

Hi people I am glad that today is Friday, today we start our spring break over here in Puerto Rico!!! YAY!!!
Anyways today was a so/so day! I spend most of my time with one of my greatest friends Sylvia and the rest of the time I spent with Walter a new friend of mine! I was feeling great all day long, until 1:50pm came, then I started to feel desperate and I wanted to leave, I had plans to go shoe shopping with Stephanie, but she had to cancel and that's when it hit me, I wanted to leave school right then! I had to wait till 3:00pm to leave and I was growing sick of school I just wanted to have fun and spend some time with Stephanie, but we couldn't do anything about it. She had to stay in school to help her boyfriend out in some school assigment! Today I got really moody, after missing my friend Spiderman, when he finally sat next to me and Sylvia after a while I didn't want to be by his side!!! It wasn't his fault and he did nothing to me, for me to react that way, but I felt angry and disappointed with myself! After I had "vanished" all my feelings to a certain guy... They came over me today, it came back to me! but I've learned something about this, I know how to live with them, without them taking control of me!!! Anyways I took it out on my friend, I am sorry sweety, I love you!!!! Anyways I hope this few days off help me in some way!

Another day in school!

Hi people right about now I am in school in my Chemistry class !!! Suposively working!!! lol
I am enjoying myself for now. Next to me is my best friend Sylvia and she is also "working" (jajaja)! I have so many things to do but still I am here procrastinating! I love you people! Have a nice day!
take care talk 2 you later!

A horrible day!

Today was a fine day until a friend of mine was hurting!
Problems take control of our lives! Which I find that it is unfair!
Can we live without any emotions? Why is it so hard for us human beings to deal with our emotions? I know it can be hard, I've been through hard time in which I hav thought I was going to die, but still I've made it through! Is it harder on other people? What is there to do?
I know I don't know everything, much less I understand everything, I just wish us people wouldn't make such a big deal out of our emotions! I speak for myself and only of myself! I wish I had the power to stop the hurting in this world... I know it is just a dream, but it sound pretty nice! Feelings aren't everything in this world and believe it or not everyone will get over all the suffering, someday... Look at the positive things God sends us, and you will survive!

I... can ... breath...again!

I made it, I made it, I made it!!!! that's what I said.
I have walked so much and fought so hard to get where I am...
I have reached the top of the mountain!!!
That is what I though, I take myself back to these last days, where I have cried, laugh and yelled. And it all seems worth it! I know it sounds weird but I finally got where I wanted to be, on top! I know life gives you situations, but I am glad I can say I MADE IT THROUGH!
------------------------------------WAIT---------------------------------------------
What if it's a ilusion? what if I am not really there? What if this is the way my mind uses to make a fool out of me?Can I be a houndred percent certain of this? I surely can not! I wish I had fallen a sleep and woken up to a new and bright morning... Is it too much to ask?

That's an abstract of something I wrote!
* When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade!*

A new point of view!

Yesterday I was feeling very bad (emotionaly), but I decided I was going to church anyways!
I got there and I felt the same, but when the preacher began his sermon I felt God's precense in my life. I decided to ask God to forgive me and start living my life how he wants me to! I think that's the best decision I have ever taken! Now all I feel is joy, no more sadness, no more depresion, just happyness and joy! I love God so much! He is the best an he is always there when you need him, 24/7! God bless you all!

Half of you!

It is funny how quickly you forget!
It is so ironic, how fast you can't remember what you felt for me...
You know what, I knew this was going to happen!
I just didn't think it would be that simple for you to take me off your mind!
All those words you once told me are revolving in my head!
To think you never cared as much as I did.
I start to think, what if you always lied, what if you never felt the way you said you did,
what if you where making everything up and making me believe you felt something for me...
I feel so stupid and most of all so worthless!
I felt for your stupid act!
Aww, I get so mad for being so blind!
Why did you have to play this games, if you never wanted anything else?
How come you showed me one side I loved and then you used me to get what you really wanted (u know ur girl).
I feel so low, loving you so much and you don't give a damn!
I hope your happy!!! I just can't be how I used to be with you, I know you already forgot about me but I still care about you, even though you don't care anymore!
I really hope all of your dreams come true with her, but I can't be your friend (as much), because I don't want just half of you!

Messed up life!

Today sucked! as ussual!
I had to take an exam, and I got out of school at 10:10am, something like that. To find myself wasting my time, my mom went to school to pick up my report card, I got a C in english, I was so mad! My grades are my life in high-school I always do what I can to be the best I can, but it seems that wasn't enough this time, now I've decided I am not going to waste anymore time trying to get my friends to like me and getting to know people, I am going to spend more time in somethinh far more important! me!!! and my school work! bye guys I'll write later on!

Whatever!

Have you ever taken a decision so fast that you haven't thought of the consequences it brings? I am so mad at myself I feel that I "put myself too out there" I explain myself, I told and showed this guy how much I liked him and loved him. For what? I guess now, he was as fake as many people are to me, and this kills me on the inside! I guess he didn't care as much as he said he did! Everything in my life seemed so fake these last days, my "friends" where or are so not honest with me, I trully feel people talk to me to show others how nice they can be! I hate it so much feeling like I don't belong everywhere I go! I do have some real friends though! I wish and hope to show them how real I am! Few days ago I have been evaluating what to do with my friends, who's friendship I trully want and need and which I don't care about anymore! I've decided who my real friends are and who I just care not to have their friendship, the only catch is I think I am going to lose another friend because of the decision I took. Only the Lord knows what will happen, but I worry not because I know that if I do lose other friends because of this, it was God's hand in all of this. I need to change my life, I want to do so many things, but first of all I have to ask God for help only he can help me! If you have friends appreciate them!
Oh and don't expose yourself that much when nothing is true as you think, you only end up throwing away presious feelings! I thought you did love me, but to hell with it all, hope your happy!

Where you want me to be...

I am so confused,
so I start to walk.
I took two steps back,
but you pulled me in.
I was starting to get comfortable,
then you push me back out.
I thought I knew what you wanted,
but I guess I was wrong...
I was so happy,
but I guess that shouldn't last.
Can't I be happy,
for more than several months...
I thought with you it might be different,
but I find myself writting this.
I wish I knew how I
got myself into this.

Love you all!! I hope you feel like part of my life when I write...
bye people take care!

Why? When?

Why are we living like this?
Why does this have to be a dream?
Why do we love each other so much?
Why do I dream with being yours?
Why can't we live what we feel?
Why do we have to prive ourselves from all these feelings?
Why do I think about you when I don't have you?
Why, oh, why can't we be happy together?

When did you realize you liked me?
When did you realize this could only be a dream?
When did I fall for you?
When will we accept that we can't be without each other?
When we are together, doesn't it feel right?

I need you to see I am lost without you...
I need to feel you close to me, cause when you are not my life is a mess!
I need to know we are going to be alright...
I wish you the best of luck!
Goodbye!

Will you keep my secret?

Will you keep my secret?
Don't say anything...
Just hold me,
Don't promise me anything.
I don't want to have to think,
I just want to feel like I do when
we are together.
Do I deserve this?
Have I asked for this,
so many questions,
revolving in my mind,
You've got me woundering...
Can I be any happier?
I miss you, I need you,
Don't you get tired of hearing this?
I LOVE YOU!

* This is an old thing I wrote, but never wanted to post it,well maybe because I thought you guys already get too much of me in lala-land! You know this is 4 you, so see you soon! Beware I am going to win my bracelet back!

In love with two different people...

First...
He is caring but distant,
he Loves me but he has another love
he is confused
he doesn't quite know what he wants
he has taken a decision
He wants another girl...

Second...
He is caring and loving.
he is close to me and he would do what he can to see me happy
he expresses what he feels for me
He know what he feels for me
he would run out at midnight to be next to me
He wants me but he already
made a decision to forget me...

I know it seems obvious I have to forget him and I will
I promise myself to forget this love that has me stressing over him
I won't make the same mistake, I won't let this "love" kill me
" What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
I will get through and I will let you all know when this happens...

Sleep is my escape...

This is sad how I've come to loathe everything I am used to.
Today started out like and normal day, nothing special just the samething I do always.
I got to school to find the same people I talk to everyday, doing the samething they always do...
My friends dealing with their own situantions, my best friend trying to get the girl he likes to actually be with him, and everyone else just fullfilling the job they had to do... There was a good part in all of this day, I got to enjoy myself in "la Confra" which was amayzing, out of that, this whole day sucked! It's true that I love to sleep a lot, but when everything around you isn't fun anymore you have to find your own escape! I dindn't have to find an escape when I was in my other school people where just so out of the ordinary!!! I somrtime ask myself if it was really worth it, leaving my other school, I had my friends, a life, etc. I don't want to be so negative but I am not satisfied with the "life" I have...

A wounderful dream...

Today was like a dream come true...
The guy I am totally crazy for came over and we spend the whole day together!
Playing around and just enjoying ourselves together!
If this is a dream I don't want to wake up!
I felt so close to him, I felt his chest against mine, his heart beat...
I felt him actually loving me and wanting me!
It was special, I haven't felt like that in a really long time! The thing was I felt it so real, something that tomorrow is going to slap me in the face and show me the opposite!
Do I have to wake up? I don't want to lose this feeling, I am so happy knowing that he was mine only for a day, maybe it was only in my thoughts... Can't you blame me for wanting to have him, I know he doesn't feel like I do but for only a momment I want to think he does!
You are the sweetest of all dreams! and I can't bear having you taken out of my life like that... that's why I decide to never wake up of this beautiful dream...

Once again...

Once again I have fallen in the deep traps of love...
I thought I knew it all, I thought I was faster,smarter and way more skilled than Love itself.
How dumb was I, I thought I could play with fire and not get burn!
At first, I had the ball on my court... I made the rules, and decided when the game would end,
but in a bad move I made, I lost the ball, and I started to play a different kind of game,
in which I had no control of what was about to happen. At the begining the game started slow, I could barely feel love... I just felt something which I feel for anyone close to me, maybe appreciation, once the game sarted I started to feel funny, I couldn't stop talking to him, I couldn't stop thinking of him... and I was mad, I didn't want it to end like that I wanted to be able to say I like you now and not tomorrow. I know it sounds terrible but I didn't want to accept the fact I could fall in love again. So I started to act back, I took some drastic measure to vanish this whole feeling. I started to separate from him and anyone who reminded me of him, I started to find other guys who would occupy his position, I made up stories for myself in which I saw him as an evil person just to calm that sensation I felt for him. Nothing worked, my plan backfired, this made me so upset! I thought of myself as a strong girl who could do as she pleases and decides who to fall in love with. For long days I felt sorry for myself and I enclose myself from reality! Could it be possible, that I could be in love with someone against my own will, I asked to myself. Everything surrounding me shouted it's imposible for you to love this guy! I knew it was true but still I felt so secure with him, I wanted to be with him no matter what when I finally got to the point I knew that I loved him... reality slapped me on the face!
I have still not won or lost this game, but at least I know that if he is not for me and that probbably is the truth, I won't ever try to fight against Love, because it is much bigger that anything I can handle. Loving him has been a rollercoaster of mixed emotions, now having to see him with another girl saddens me but at the same time it's a relief to know I didn't change what he felt for his soon to be_ _ _ _!!!
What I learned in all of this was... Don't try to think you can handle ur emotions on your own...
Some times we are lucky to have things happen as we desire but we are not always going to have that luck...

The shortest, longest story...

I can't take my mind off you

Here I am once again, thinking on whether I should forget you or love you.
Many nights I've been contemplating on how much I want to be with you...
You are the reasson of my happiness, you have the control on your hands, you decide if I move or stay, I can't take my mind off of you. It's silly how one person has so much power over another. It is creapy, but I picture you in my head night and day, what should I do, I ask myself... What decision should I take! I probably should move on and see if there is anyone else out there for me but I can't I want you and only you... You are the only one who makes me smile, in that unusual way I do when I look into your eyes. I need you and want you. I am in a constant plead " be mine" and no one elses! So selfish I've become but I desire so badly to spend my days with you... You rock my whole world, and I love you for that!!! Thanks for always being here! I will always love you I promise... You know I am talking about you, you are the only man in my life right now! Thanx for making my life so exciting!!
I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!

Not anymore!

Hi, it's me once again writting about my not cool life!!!
It is true that a couple of things have happened, Peolpe in my life found love wich I think is awesome, and I myself think I love someone also... Complicated, right?
I am very happy to have someone who cares so much about me even though I am not with him, he makes me feel so good, so special and so cared for. He is an extraordinary person! I love him!!!
Don't get scared please, But you know I do or so I wish you knew I do LOVE YOU!

One more time!

Here I am again, wishing to be sleeping!(lol)
I am becoming dull I have no impacting story!
Something new in my life is I am planning on going of to the states to study.
I am considering to go to Oregon or Ohio, maybe Texas, I am not quite sure but I am thinking of moving out of Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico is very nice don't mis-judge me, I love where I live but I want a change to start my life somewhere else, maybe more exciting!
I'll miss my friends like crazy, I hope I can see them on holidays and summer break...
O well until that happens I'll enjoy the time I have with my friends.

These past days...

Hi everyone!
I miss chatting with my friends!!!!
I've had some pretty nice last 2 days...
I spend time with my best friend, I went over to his house and we hung out, it was awesome!
Today I went to church and it was off the hook! God's presence was there we could feel him!
Even though I had fun these last days one of those days was the most painful of all I've had...
Memories brought back from my sub-conscience, took over me. Horrible day was that one.
Talk 2 u guys some more l8r.

Bla bla bla...

Today I am very happy!
Even though I am just writting to write, cause I am too lazy to write tonight!
I'll just write a quote then;

DON'T BELIEVE IN MIRACLES, DEPEND ON THEM.
Laurence J. Peter

Isn't obvious...

Isn't it obvious...
That I love you,
can't you see it in my eyes
how much I dream about you.

Isn't obvious...
That I am dying in dispair,
I need to be near you.
I try to get close but then I pull back;
I am so afraid of getting hurt...

Isn't obvious...
I know you can't tell, but
my soul is crying for help,
it's crying so loud and you can not hear it.

Isn't obvious...
That when we are apart,
time seems longer.

I know you don't know that I am dying here with out you... I need to see you, I need to hold you, I need to feel you... It's so silly how you being so close to me I desperately need you so much. Hopefully one day we will be more than strangers...

My thoughts...

I need you to know, the importance you have in my life...
I don't want to say it but it's true you are always on my mind, I wish to know how you are, I wish to be next to you every second of my life. ( SUPER STALKER) I really appreciate the friendship you have given me. You are so true to me and I know I might be selfish sometimes because I want you all to myself. (lol) I love you, you are the greatest friend ever and I couldn't bear to loose you so please never leave me... Many people in my life have turned their backs on me, but I am certain that you are not like those people. Thanks for always showing me the way, and always trusting me. I feel that our friendship is so pure! Thanks for every memory shared!
"I love you not because of who you are but what I become when I am with you", thats a really nice saying I think I can apply it on myself! Thanks for making a better person out of me...
Love you lots! your best friend, Miky

L.O.V.E.

What can we do with out love? I know sometimes I feel so hurt that I say I don't believe in love or I don't know what love truly is but I don't know where I would be without love.

You'll never get to know how I feel,
I'll never let it show,
you don't now how much it hurts me to know,
I have never had you and probably now I will
never have. You are so far away from me...
Not fisically but spiritually;
I wish I could tell you how much I want you.
It burns so much to know you and I, is not even a posibility,
we are so different... we are two strangers, who will never meet.
I am scared to accept how I feel for you...
You brighten my day with out even saying a word.
I want to be close to you even if it is for a second,
to breathe the air you breathe,
to feel you close to my heart and body.
I know now that dreams are only dreams, but
you are the sweetest of all dreams.

Secrets &Life

It's funny how people make little things so big!!!
Hi everyone, something new has happened in my life! It's scary in a wierd way but it is happening I am getting weird but nice feelings in my stomach, I think I am falling for someone! The only bad thing is that, it's the wrong person to fall for. He is not the kind of guy I usually go for... anyhow this will never work we are to different to maybe like each other! And back to the start he has a girlfriend, that makes him unreachable, restricted, forbiden! That doesn't matter that much anyhow, it's still a nice feeling I wouldn't want to get rid off.

SUCCESS!

Today was my schools fashion show, and I have to say it was awesome!!!
We had so much fun! We had a few problems but none concerning our preformance on stage. I wish I knew how to post pictures so I could show you how we looked but I don't know how to post pictures! Anyways thanks for taking your time to read this. bye

One more day!

I love God over everything in this world!!!!
Hey guys today has been a hard day, but I am happy it's over the whole drama and everything! I really wish tomorrow turns out to be a great day after all. I need a breakfrom everything, I am thinking spa, massages,manicure and a pedicure! That sounds great. Whatever, I don't have time for a break, in two more days I 'll be participating in my schools fashion show, it's nerve racking, I am use to the pressure of having to give a good show, I am a model, but ugh its hard when ur whole school is going to be there and you know they'll be talking about it for days. Anyhow, guys I hope each and every one of you are okay, take care, love you all!

Everything is brand new...

People tend to think that when something is done with you should move on ...
Thats why I chose this title, everything new. Look its been a couple of months since my break-up and everything is running smoothely, needless to say that I did care strongly about him and he will never leave my heart or life. But things have changed hugely, now I don't feel this pressure to be with someone else, I really would like to be by myself for now. BOYFRIEND, is a huge word that not everyone can fufill after my last one. I've come to realize that I am not as ready as I thought to be in a serious relationship with someone else. You have to be so devoted to that other person and stuff... I don't want the same things I once wanted, now everything is new! My priorities are so different now... it is God,friends & family, and school. I don't have time for dilemas or anything else. I love my friends to death!!! Love you all...

I'm not bitter...I'm mad as hell!!!

Today was a good day or so I thought, (stupid me) nothing could ruin my day, but I was wrong. How can a simple e-mail damage an entire day of happiness? It is possible,and it did. I got home to check my e-mails and I got only 1 the worst one I have ever gotten, it was from someone I used to care a lot for. I was so shocked by the title, I had to read it, when I started to read it, I began to feel so disgusted and furious, I felt so overwhelmed by anger. Worst than all was that this person that I thought I knew well thinks so bad about me. I am sooo sorry for ever giving this person any reason to think that way about me (if I ever did). I just want to tell that person if he/she ever reads this blog is, too bad you think that I would ever do something bad to you, I promise you I wouldn't , but it's a fact now that I don't want to hear about you, at least not for the moment! Know for a fact that I do forgive you for doubting me, I really do, I don't want to hear about you because it hurts to much to know that a friend so close like you doubts me. I will get over this, sooner or later...
I know that tomorrow I might not feel bad about this problem, but this is going to scar me. I'm not bitter...I'm mad as hell !!!!

A quote for the day!

"No one can ever make you feel less than what you are, unless you let them."

Don't ever give that kind of power to anyone!

and a romantic one to top it off!

" You've made me realize that I've always been missing something I never ever knew I wanted"

Isn't that sweet!!!

Reality check!

Saturday, Febuary 18,2006

What kind of thing do we girls think?

I was talking to a very good friend of mine and we stated a sprited conversation (discussion) about girls always getting which ever guy the wanted... I was furious because I really think we can't always get the guy we want, and if we could why would we be alone sometimes? Anyhow later on, in the conversation he admited that we can't always get the one we want but sometimes we can! I wish that were true because I really like this guy and he doesn't seem to see me that same way, he does think I m awesome and everything, but I am like one of the guys for him. Which is totally bumer, I don't quite know because I am sure I don't want to be committed in a relationship, but I would like to see if we could get to know each other better. So maybe we can't always get the guy we want but we can always try! So if anyone is going through the same awkward feeling I am going through I just have to tell you one thing don't give up, try your best and if you don't secceed you'll still have a great friend anyways! So risk a little, go for it! At least thats what I tell myself!!! l8r everyone...

Valentine's madness!

Yesterday was a pretty nice day, I thought it would be this horrible painful day but it wasn't! I had lots of fun! My friends gave me pretty sweet gifts; I got a stuffed animal, chocolate, flowers and candy!!! I really wasn't expecting any of that but it was really nice! Thank you guys! I hope everyone of you had a great day as well! bye till next time...

Its what I call growing up!

Whoa! I haven't posted in a long while now! Hello every one!
My life has been pretty sweet until this week! Man this week sucks...
Anyhow talking about the subject, even though this week hasn't been the best one ever I have learned some "neat" stuff. Somethings that I instsit were meant for me to get over with, to mature. Want to know something? Life is like a class we have to take, we have many quizes to go through before taking the test. It is funny what I go through and worry about when there are so many other people with huge problems. This week, okay the few days I have past this week, were horrible to me, I felt so powerless in many situations I've gone through. This week I told this guy I was getting to know that I had a crush on him, oops big mistake, he was very sweet and sincere about it , he told me he didn't feel the same way, we are still good friends though. I also found out a friend I really looked up to, abandoned herself and decided to throw away all her dreams and goals in life. I also heard from Juan this week, that was kind of a positive thing this week! I've been drowned with lots of school work and projects. Seriously this hasn't been a great week as I thought it would be, but no matter what I am not going to let all of that destroy my positive way of seen whats in front of me! Oh by the way Valentine's is coming and I rather it wouln't ... too many happy couples just makingit worst for all of us who are not in a relationship. There's a good thing in there I will get to share my love with my friends who don't ever forget about me...

Awsome!!

Today was an awsome day! I didn't have classes today but I still went to school anyhow, later today we went to Walgreens to buy some junk food we wanted, cause we were going to my pool. A group of my friends came it was so cool, I got to see my friends and we just hung out it was pretty cool! We were 4 girls and 4 boys all of wich only 2 of them are a couple. I got to hang out with my ex crush who turned out to be a pretty nice guy and he is so self assure! He is truly awsome, anyhow I can only see him as another of my many friends so at least I have the certainty I made an awsome new friend! I wish I had a better vocabulary so I could use another word rather than; cool & awsome!!! LOL...

One step closer!

All right! I have been ejoying this last 11th grade semester a lot. I've been going out with my friends, I've gotten to know better some other people I knew. It's really been a blast! I am now one step closer to becoming a senior and making a memory with the people I care about! Yay!!!

SCHOOL!!!

School started, not that big of a deal! I got my report card and I aced each class with A. I was very excited ! I got to see my classmates and friends. I also got to see the guy I was crushing, everyone is doing just fine and I am really glad. I hope this new semester will be as great at the end as the other was! I hope I get into a really good universtity and I also wish to find what I am truly pationet about...

Getting ready!

This is super sad, I start school in a few weeks and when I do I have to turn in a science fair proyect I was assigned! Bummer! Anyways I am enjoying the last days I have left, we are going to the movies and maybe grab something to eat on the way home or so I was told by my mother. I miss my friends and I am a little bit excited to go back to school because I'll be able to see my friends and... You all know! lol! bye

Happy New Year!

Isn't it fun a new year is here? You know what that means? This is a new opportunity to make a difference in your lives, to make a difference in someone elses life. It is a new beginnig, an additional time given to all of us so we can make a change, an improvement! At this time everyone has made a new year's resolution. What is yours? Have you even thought about it? I have so many things I woul like to accomplish; one is getting out of highschool with honors, been able to do well at eveything I set my mind into, been able to complete every task I plan on doing, been capable to be a good sister,daughter and friend,been able to handle the pressure I put myself into, been able to be a better person and a better christian. Those are a few of my new year's resolutions. Even if you haven't made any new year's resolutions yet, take 10 minutes out of your day to think on somethings you would like to make better in your life and actually do them this year. I wish that this year all of you make a commitment and thank God for all the mercy he has shown upon us. Oh well guys make the best you can out of this new year! Later love you all! Happy New Year's (be lated)!
Love, Michelle