Will you love me?

Interrupción

2011-05-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

Fue una mañana como cualquier otra.

Tu como siempre morías por su atención. Ella como siempre se desvivía por dártela. Te tenía y era todo lo que importaba. Yo, sólo era una persona más. No se como paso pero tus ojos tenían un brillo especial cada ves que rozaban los míos. Lo admito mientras el tiempo pasó vivimos hermosos atardeceres, y noches especiales sin embargo el tiempo pasó y con el nuestro amor. Hoy por hoy solo somos dos almas en busca de lo que dejamos morir. Ayer fuimos y hoy sólo la prefieres a ella. Aunque aun oigo tu voz tu alma ya se alejó...

Como hoja

2010-12-02T06:28:00.000-08:00

Solía ser parte de una gran familia. Habían muchos que pensaban como yo, sentían como yo y vivían como yo. No tenía de que temer. Simplemente pertenecía. Era como un niño recién nacido que es acurrucado por su madre y siente su calor tatuado en su cuerpo. Poco a poco fui creciendo y me comencé a alejar, pero aun habían muchos en mi mundo. Todos compartíamos todas las cosas: el alimento, el agua, el calor y hasta el frío. Pasaban los días y el sol quemaba mi ser. Sentía el deseo de saltar al vacío pues en el había descanso para mi. El agua que manaba saciaba cada una de mis tardes acaloradas. Paso el tiempo y me fui amoldando a lo que debía ser. Sin elección, sin decisión. Era una con lo que esperaban de una simple hoja. Una hoja que se movía en cualquier dirección en que el viento soplara. Sin preguntar, sin refutar. Era tan hermosa y protegida por los que me movían y cuidaban que me acomodé a no pensar, a no sentir a no vivir. Pasaban los días, las hora y los minutos existiendo. Pero en mi ser se revolvían todas las emociones que querían salir, de pronto sin esperarlo se fue desprendiendo mi tallo y fui cayendo al vacío. ¿Eso era lo que deseaba? ¿Cómo es que no siento esa libertad? ¿Cómo no siento paz? Ahora soy sólo parte del inmenso cuerpo de agua que sostiene mis espaldas. Sigo angustiada y resentida. Ya nadie piensa, siente y vive como yo...

hondo

2010-10-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Que hago escribiendo en estas páginas nuevamente. Con tantas citas y tantas reformas en mi vida pensé que te había superado, pero es espeluznante verme escribir aquí se supone que ya no fueras mi mecanismo. Te había superado... Tres pasos atrás ni se compara...

Analiznado P.I

2010-04-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

Sube las escaleras que la llevan directo al precipicio. Nada es seguro nada es igual. Decidió cambiar lo ireemplazable por lo intercambiable. Se decia para sí, nadie entiende, nadie siente, nadie padece. Es todo lo que deseo pero no lo logro alcanzar. Que hice, que hice, que hice. Que hice... Se seca las lagrimas mientras camina hacia alfrente. El viento es tan fuerte que la empuja y la sacude pero ella sigue caminando. Estando en el borde jura nunca regresar... y es así como empieza la historia.

Oasis

2010-03-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

Una persona importante en mi vida me preguntó: ¿Te mereces lo que estas recibiendo?

Todo empezó por un error. Por una decisión a la ligera. Todo empezó tan bien que puese mi confianza en que me harias olvidar mi pasado y de una vez me acompañarias al futuro. Tu y yo agarrados de la mano. Pero eso era solo un espejismo dentro del gran desierto que define mi vida. Eso fuistes, una hermosa ilusión. Un manantial que sació mi deseo pero nunca mi sed...

¿Y ahora qué?

Aqui

2010-02-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

Una vez más, de vuelta por estas cuatro paredes desgastadas. El suelo polvoriento bailaba con el viento ocultando así el rastro de mis pisadas. Un vago recuerdo pasaba por mi mente haciendome pensar que una vez había estado aqui. Sin embargo no recordaba ni una cara. Las paredes llenas de crateres contaban la historia de algo que sucedió en algún lugar remoto. Tanto tiempo sin sentir y sin pensar en que debo sentir y tu con esa sonrisa cínica me revuelves todos los muertos de mi corazón. ¡No te lo permito! No señor, ni tu ni nadie. Ni tu, ni nadie. Desplomada en el polvo, arrastrando mi entumecido cuerpo, trago el sabor amargo de tu compañia. Eras tu quien querias esto, Eras tú quien pensaba en mi. No obstante, el día que te enterré para nunca volverte a ver fue el día en que me convertí en ti. Obstinada, orgullosa, fría, cortante, HIPÓCRITA! ¿A quién engañas? Eres más que un debil recuerdo de humanidad y un desesperado canto a la feminidad. ¡HIPÓCRITA! ¡MENTIROSA! Mendiga de tu propia opinión. Vergüenza te debería de dar, pues después de ti, aprendí a ver más alla.

Escape!

2009-09-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

Y sigo dando vueltas...

Te escribo desde adentro de esta celda, donde han encerrado a mi corazón.
Donde me han impuesto caretas de mil colores y de ninguno.
Donde arrancaron de mí, mi vida. Donde grito y nadie escucha. Donde golpeo y nadie siente.
Donde risa es igual a mentira y felicidad es igual a locura. Donde doy vueltas sin marearme y camino y me tropiezo. Nunca pense sentirte tan cerca como cuando te deje. La vida me dio la oportunidad y me se corrio entre los dedos. Tu tendras tus maneras de conseguir lo que deseas y yo las mias, pero no es hasta que hayamos consumado nuestra compañia que seremos una. Oh cuantas noches te sentí mia y te perdí. Cuantas veces te escuche sin responder a tus reclamos. Mas hoy no hago mas que dar vueltas en la celda donde me encerraste para nunca salir. Fuimos una, una fui. Oh archivo de memorias hasta cuando he de sufrir tu traición. Hasta cuando mi corazón llorará sin ser escuchado. Todo en mi da vueltas, y aun no soy oida. Vuelta y vuelta y vuelta...

Mundo de Barbie

2009-06-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

Hoy le preguntaba a un amigo si creía que las amistades que teniamos en común eran superficiales. A lo que contesto con un claro y sencillo, sí. Me comentaba como podía intercambiar ideas, aun experiencias vividas con ellos y aun no saber nada. Visitar, salir e incluso hablar se limitaba a un simple acto de superficialidad. Cuando escuche su contestación pense lo afortunada que era por tener su amistad. Una amistad sincera e incondicional. A veces mal entendida por pequeñeses pero siempre real. Tan solo han pasado horas desde esa conversación cuando mi parecer cambió. Adoro tener amistados con las que puedo compartir tanto mis alegrias y triunfos como desepciones y tristezas. Sin embargo todas mis amistades se han complicado a tal grado donde no encuentro que más hacer. Quiero satisfacer sus necesidades pero todos demandan la misma lealtad y tiempo. Me encentro dividiendome tanto que no encuentro tiempo para satisfacer mis propias necesidades. Sin embargo mientrás satisfago sus necesidades ellos se encargan de las mías pero hasta cuando. Ya no siento que les puedo dar lo mejor de mí sino lo que queda. Que es un corazón partido en mil pedazos y alguien que fervientemente quiere volver aprender amar. Sólo queda una pregunta dentro de mi corazón, ¿Acaso vale la pena tener amistades profundas o tan solo debemos limitarnos a "relaciones" superficiales?

Malestar en la amistad

2009-02-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

"En todo tiempo ama el amigo,
Y es como un hermano en tiempo de angustia." Proverbios 17:17

Se dice que encontrar amigos es una bendición. Algunos han dicho haber conocido las bendiciones de tener un amigo. ¿Pero qué comprende esa pequeña palabra? Amistad se define como confidentes, agentes que buscarán junto a tí la felicidad. Personas que te heriran con la verdad antes de destruirte con mentiras. Compañeros en los momentos difíciles que nos da la vida. Gente a la que le confías todo sin miedo a nada. ¿Suena fabuloso, no? ¿Pero quién determina que uno está listo para tal bendición? Dice la Biblia que el que quiera amigos que se muestre como amigo. Tarea no tan sencilla si lo piensas. Pero, no les vengo hablar sobre la amistad en general sino sobre el malestar que provoca la amistad. No buscamos ser perfectos sólo intentamos ofender en lo menos posible, amar en lo más y ser fieles hasta el final. En este punto del juego podría decir que he conocido amigos unos más presentes que otros pero siempre amigos. Sin embargo, ¿cómo algo tan bello puede causar malestar? Simplemente porque no siempre estamos prestos a escuchar, simplemente porque aveces no somos quienes para pensar y trabajar en pos de dicha tan grande. Siempre en la amistad van a venir momentos donde como compañeros van a ser probados y como buenos amigos van a desear el bien del otro antes que el suyo propio... Los amigos son tesoros que no tienen un valor establecido económicamente sino emocionalmente pero, que pasa cuando las emociones estan fuera de control. ¿Cómo establecemos su valor? Deseamos que nuestros amigos supan cuando nos sentimos mal y no queremos hablar, cuando estamos aptos para compartir y hasta cuando estamos tan cansados para seguir, sin recordar que el que compartan un mismo corazón no significa que compartan un mismo cerebro incluso hasta el mismo cuerpo. Tendemos a recriminarle a nuestros amigos cuando nos hacen mal ignorando el enunciado anterior. No somos la misma persona y jamás podemos demandar que seamos uno solo. No obstante, existen una serie de señales que se presentan que llamaré "beats" momentos que indican cuando es bueno hacer y dejar de hacer. Cuando nuestros ángeles llamados amigos no leen bien nuestros beats pueden causar confrontaciones que son el nuecleo del malestar. Esto es un asunto pertinente a ambos "AMIGOS". Siempre valoramos más la opinión de nuestros amigos pero cuando la opinión de ese ser que te conoce como a si mismo es igual a las de los que no te conocen te pone a pensar... O no te conoce como tú creías o la opinión general es la correcta. Y que hacer en este caso auto evaluarte y eximanar lo que hay en ti. De todos modos no pretendo agotar el tema así que si consigues un "amigo" y vale la pena tratarlo ten en consideración que no son iguales y no siempre pensarán igual, y sobretodo que hay ciertos indicadores que te dejan ver cuando es el mejor momento para hacer y dejar de hacer.

Incoherencias

2009-02-17T18:16:00.000-08:00

Siempre tendemos a mirar de reojo a esas personas que hablan lo que conocemos por "incoherencias". Solemos adjudicarle la verdad aquello que suena elocuente, sin embargo existe mayor verdad en las incoherencias que en la elocuencia. Piensalo, siempre escogemos las palabras que queremos que revelen lo que sentimos. Rebuscamos en ese repertorio de palabras bonitas los sentimientos que queremos sentir y lo que queremos que la gente sepa de uno. Mientrás que con las incoherenncias perdemos el control de las palabras ante lo que sentimos. Es como si nuestro sistema apagara sus controles a ciertas horas. En esas circumstancias no hay palabras bonitas que disfracen nuestras emociones. Lo que sentimos y pensamos se contvierten en una sola cosa y sin poder alguno nos rendimos ante ella. Ella no tiene miedo al que diran, ni al que pensaran o sentiran, ella solo se complace en pronunciar lo que ningún ser pensante se atrevería a revelar. No hay gente fuerte ni débil solo personas humanas. Personas imperfectas en mundos llenos de potencial. ¿Pero hasta cunado han de convivir la falsedad y la verdad?

Cuentame

2009-02-09T17:25:00.000-08:00

Cuentame de tus labios las intenciones de tus hechos.
Que aun sin mencionar rompen cada parte de mi ser.
Si viera verdad en tus labios saborearía el placer de una emoción.
Pero aun sigues sin hablar, sin tan siquiera mencionar una palabra.
Como si el hablar fuera tan solo un ejercicio corporal.
Aburreme con tus frases mientrás desifro tu corazón.
Porque en cada lágrima seca te despides de tu yo.
Ya me canse de adivinar lo que con boca abierta no cuentas.
Cuentame con tus ojos la verdad que juraste con labios.
Sigueme con la mirada ya que con pies no andas.
Corres sin dirección rumbo a la nada.
Abrazame con las letras de tú corazón pues ya no se ni como hablar...
Ante un aparente adios.

Ring the bells

2009-01-10T06:24:00.000-08:00

It's eleven thirty and I am laying on my bed trying to close my eyes. Minutes feel like hours when one is anxious. Tomorrow is the big day. I've been waiting almost a year to commit to my love! Was I getting cold feet? Maybe not, I was expecting this day since everything in our lives got more complex. I was convinced all I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with my boo. And so it was. I spent the rest of my night thinking of the good and bad memories we shared. Everything just showed me how important you are in my life. There it was my wedding day, all the anxiety went away, I was ready. When I began walking down the isle all that I was thinking was how beautiful we look together and how it was "meant to be". As I continued to glide over the white carpet set for me to walk in I say you, in the crowd, smiling. How did you know? Seeing you was like a bucket full of cold water. Then my torture began to take place in my heart. I was standing right in front of the love of my life and for no reason I was thinking of the crowd. "Do you take _________ to be your loving ______ to have and to hold, till death do you apart... I was hesitating to answer. They were all waiting for my answer. And with loving eyes I said...

Segundos, minutos, horas y días

2008-11-04T16:18:00.000-08:00

Llevaba un día donde nada podría afectarme. Había decidido rendirme ante lo que la vida tuviera que ofrecerme. Segundos y minutos de alegría y horas y días de agonía. Que fácil sería engañarme y hacerme creer que ésto era lo que mi vida necesitaba. Nunca es tarde para volver a empezar me intentaba convencer. Fue un día cuando no lo esperaba, cuando aun no podía idear la posibilidad de ser feliz llegó a mi vida una gotita de esperanza. No me lo esperaba, ni siquiera lo busque pero Papito se apiado de mis horas y minutos en que sentía que nadie fijaba sus ojos en mi. Fue ahí donde la conocí, fue en esos instantes que mi vida tomo otro sentido, donde conocí el significado de la amistad. Muchas gotitas habían transitado por este gotero pero, no todos habían calado tan profundo en mi corazón. Dicen que tanto esta la gota en la piedra hasta que la rompe, hoy puedo dar fe de eso. Nunca pense abrir mi corazón sin reservas a alguien que apenas conocía, nunca pense que mostrar cariño hacia otra persona que no fuera familia. Mi corazón apenas se puede contener al oir su voz, ante su presencia. ¿Cómo puede ser que la quiera tanto y la extrañe tanto teniendola tan cerca? ¿Hasta cuando durará este sentimiento? La quiero, la extraño, la necesito... que hermoso sentimiento es este que las palabras más bonitas no lo pueden expresar.
Ahora mis segundos, minutos, horas y días estan llenos de amor, de gratitud, de emoción porque al fín conseguí a la amiga que tanto necesitaba.
Te amo D.R.

Celaje

2008-10-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hoy me sorprendió levantarme pensando en ti,
dicen que una no controla el corazón y es verdad.
Una circumstancia provocó una decisión y, esa decisión
estimuló una reacción. Han pasado los meses y mi corazón
se a fortalecido, hasta pensé que ya podría seguir.
No fue hasta que vi una foto, un suceso y dos personas.
Mi corazón volvió a sentir aquellas emociones que muchos
juzgan "pecaminosas" un gran dolor se apoderó de mi ser y
no hice más que recostarme y llorar hasta quedar dormida.
¿Cómo puede ser que con tanto tiempo compartido nunca te haya
conocido? ¡Mentira! Solo es el corazón hablando y la razón abogando.
Cada palabra que salió de tu boca fueron flechas que quedaron clavadas en mi ser.
Que al pasar el tiempo fui arrancando de mi pero, aun sus marcas dejan rastro del suceso.
Rastros que quisiera borrar y nunca mas pensar... Pero sigues ahí dejandome saber con esos
labios que no hacen más que hablar mentiras, que me amas. ¿Cómo puede existir amor hacia un fantasma? Eso es lo que fuiste y eres un fantasma que se desvanece y lleva consigo un pedazo de mi corazón. Aun se que mientes, aun lo siento en tu tono de voz pero, cada rincón de mi mente y mis pensamientos quiere dejarse envolver por tus mentiras y allí formar una muralla para que nunca te vuelvas a apartar. ¿Qué dices que aun se puede intentar reconstruir el fuerte que habia antes? Despacio me vuelvo a levantar y camino hacia el baño donde dejaré mis emociones correr como corre el agua. Me miro al espejo y solo veo el resto que quedo despues de tu partida, vuelvo y miro y ya no veo nada. Solo veo el odio que transmiten mis ojos y el llanto desesperado de una amante en vela.
~J.5~

Los años

2008-07-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

Todo el pueblo se alegró al ver a la doncella. Los pájaros cantaban hermosas melodías. Los niños corrían y jugaban frente a la plaza donde seria la fiesta. Habían pasado ya ocho años desde la tragedia. Nadie quería recordarlo. La joven se alistaba para dar comienzo a la solemne celebración. Los hombres reian y las mujeres tambien, todos esperaban este día con muchas ansias. El pretendiente lloraba de emoción mientras su sequito lo consolaba. Había llegado el dia que todos los del pueblo esperaban, era la unión de dos tortolos enamorados. El ministro habia llegado y poco a poco todos se iban acomodando. La orquesta inicio la ceremonia con la marcha nupcial. Se pararon y miraron a la nerviosa novia desfilar. Todos sabian que esta pareja duraria años largos y sonreian. Era un hermoso día. Cada paso que la joven daba aumentaba la tensión de aquellos invitados, solo se oian los pasos fuertes de aquellos que caminaban como para no llegar. Un silencio profundo lo seguia cuando al fin la joven alcanzó aquel altar. El ministro comenzó hablar, "Estamos aquí reunidos en la presencia de Dios y de estos testigos para solemnizar ante el Todopoderoso, y en el nombre de nuestra santa religión, el contrato de matrimonio que este hombre y esta mujer desean realizar"... Los enamorados se miraban fijamente, más ella no estaba presente, sus pensamientos se habian elevado. El viaje realizado fue como un abrir y cerrar de ojos, ella se encontraba frente al hombre que siempre amo y no conocio. El amor es un fuego intenso que solo se calma cuando encuentras refugio en los labios del amado. Que hermoso hubiese sido casarse con quien realmente amé, pensó la joven turbada. ¡Pero que digo y a donde voy si hoy me casó con el hombre que nunca me dejo ir! De pronto intento regresar a su boda, enfocarse en lo que realmente importaba, mas no pudo. Se elevaba sin cesar, y no encontraba como virar. Entonces vio a ese hombre entrar por la puerta de la catedral, ese hombre que la había dejado y que nunca más había vuelto a ver. Todos se alteraron y el novio empezo a llorar. Ella miraba a ese hombre que se habia atrevido a volver y le dijo ¿que buscas conmigo? El hombre la miro muy calmado y le dijo he venido por ti, siempre te ame. El caos se habia vuelto cada vez peor las damicelas corrian hacia ella, mas por un segundo ellos sentian calma. El novio arrastrado por el piso gritaba pidiendo una explicación. El día que tanto esperaba se había convertido en un residuo de sus sueños. Todos lloraban, gritaban y recordaban los ocho años de tragedia.

2008-05-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

I lay
here in my
bed thinking
about the future
maybe it's too
late, to
change
what's
been
done
but, how
do I let go
of my dreams
of my fantasies
how do I know this
is not simply a dream
am I sleeping or awake?
I wish I would let go of
everything that holds
me back on my today
but, do I really want
to let go of me? My
true self? I would
not know what
to do without
my dreams.
Without
them...
I would
be just
a simple
canvas...
Waiting
to be
drawn
unto.
Live
with
a goal
or die
with-
out a
life
...

Espejismo

2008-05-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

Desde mi interior nace una luz,
lúgubre aspecto de sepulturero.
Victima de cruz,
quiso ser tu heredero.
Te veo lejos,
te siento lejos.
Desde mi, aflora la ilusión;
tu apariencia una visión.
Hacer que me quieras,
pedir que me hieras.
Imagen de ángel y,
vana esperanza,
canten alabanza
al sol de mí.
Pedir que me quieras,
hacer que me hieras.

¿Como?

2008-04-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

¿Como puedes pasar años al lado de alguien a quien no conoces?
¿Como puedes amar a medias?
¿Como puedes decir que amas, si al primer fracaso corres a otros brazos?
¿Como puedes vivir con la conciencia de un amor que no sentiste?
¿Hasta cuando has de vivir engañandote?¿Dime cuando volveras a sentir como antes?
¿Como puedes dormir en las noches cuando sabes que lloro por tí?

Discover me...

2008-04-01T13:50:00.000-07:00

When?
When will?
When will you?
When will you discover?
When will you discover what...
When will you discover what lies...
When will you discover what lies beneath...
When will you discover what lies beneath my
When will you discover what lies beneath my skin.
My skin is burning,
Fire takes over me...,it breaks me and builts me in a second.
I am passion, I am agony, I am intensity!
Discover me discovering you..., Can you hold it?
Can you?
Can you hold it?
Can you hold the passion?
Can you hold the curiosity?
Can you? Really?
I have started a quest to acknowledge you, your inner self.
My inner self, do you know me? Would you want to?
I
I dare
I dare you
I dare you to
I dare you to discover
I dare you to discover me
I dare you to discover you
I dare you to discover me discovering you...

Whisper

2008-02-29T13:10:00.000-08:00

We got caught up in a winter like night,
dark blue black night and no stars in the sky.

Come closer! Come, Come! Closer!
I can feel you, can you feel me? I can hear you , can you hear me?
Come closer! Come, Come! Closer!
A light and mellow sound came knocking...
Knocking on my ear, knocking on your ear!
Come closer! Come, Come! Closer!
I lean, you lean...
Closer, Closer, so much closer.

Estoy trabajando en una historia fotográfica a la cual llamaré ENCUENTRO

2008-01-31T07:20:00.000-08:00

Estoy muy emocionada, trabajaré con cuatro modelos que haran mi historia realidad. Pronto la veran por myspace así que pendiente! Love you spidey! You can't miss it!
your b.f.f.
~miky~

Que felicidad!!!

2008-01-26T19:54:00.000-08:00

Tengo unas noticias un tanto difciles de aceptar, pero es el sueño de toda mujer!!!! Gracias por amarme tanto. Estoy profndamente enamorada de ti bebesito!!! Besito a mi futuro cercano!!!!
~miky~

It ends tonight

2008-01-22T05:12:00.000-08:00

Listen up I am not going to say this twice,
Lets drop this whole drama and carry on with our lives.
Look this is no way to act, not for a Christian and much less a leader.
I am not asking you to be my friend; You don't have to. I think we can still fix this without compromising on our decisions. I want to be the fisrt to apologize if I have or had offended you in any way, those weren't my intentions. I just felt very offended by the way you spoke to me, because I had not ask for it. I believe I spoke to you nicely and didn't mix any personal information in our conversation. This doesn't mean I still feel for you (just wanting to make it clear). Look I am sorry for causing this entire fight. If you accept my apology well, say so.
Bye

¿Sana?

2008-01-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

Admito que hay ciertas personas que son dificiles de borrar, de olvidar o de no recordar. Tengo amistades a las que no podré olvidar jamás. ¡Personas especiales que para bien o para mal marcaron y marcarán tu vida! Con relación al AMOR hemos escuchado tantos remedios caseros para olvidar, para no llorar, para volver amar y para nunca ser engañado. Tantos consejos que una no puede retenerlos todos. Estas pasadas vacaciones tuve la dicha de irme de crusero con mi familia y mi novio. Y mi tío por parte de madre me dio el consejo más útil y que más me molesto en el momento pero el consejo decía así... "No te aferres a nada porque en tres segundos te puedes prender de eso". Cosa que me supo muy amarga al instante y lo que más me molestaba era que mi novio estaba allí. Pero es el consejo más real que he obtenido. Ya estaba cansada de los comunes que te dicen como el famoso " Un clavo saca otro clavo" ¿Alguna ves has tratado de sacar un clavo con otro? ¿Acaso, no deja un roto más grande? Recetas para Sanar un corazón herido, asi le llamo. Recetas que la mayor de las veces empeora los simptomas. Hoy puedo decir que he conseguido el remedio para mi, el que me a llevado a olvidar a una persona que marco mi vida de una manera tan grande que con solo pedirlo mi vida reorganizaria. Nunca vi el enamorarme como una enfermedad pero si como una cruz. Ya que tendría las marcas de los clavos en mi cuerpo. Hoy por hoy trato de ser feliz con lo que tengo. ¡La única felicidad que he alcanzado con relación al amor es el olvido! Nunca más saldra una lagrima de mis ojos por tu persona, nunca más alteraras el ritmo de mi vida, nunca más pensaré en ti y mucho menos deseare estar a tu lado. Nunca más...

Mi nombre es Michelle

2008-01-16T07:52:00.000-08:00

Introducciones... ¡Siempre aparentamos ser quien no somos! ¿Acaso siempre es un placer conocer a la gente? La frase mas gastada creo que debe ser, "Un placer, no el placer es todo mio". No siempre es real. En mi vida he conocido a gente muy placentera como lo contrario, pero siempre me encuentro en la emboscada de tener que admitir un gusto o placer por conocer a ciertas personas. ¿Nunca te has encontrado en la situación de que tu muy desconsidrado ex te presenta a su nueva inquisición? Hace más de tres años me ocurrió esa situaión y con el más grande disimulo puse cara de felicidad y les desee el mejor de los futuros! ¿Pero, a quién le mentía? Me moría de la rabia, entonces fue que me convertí en lo que estaba tratando de evitar. En una ex aferrada a su ex-propiedad. Recogí todos los regalos que en un momento fueron especiales, todas las cartas, todos los recuerdos y los puse en una bolsa. La cual le lanze en su cara frente a ella . Salí como más rapido pude. Me recuerdo de su expresión, la cara que puso al ver todas sus cosas en una bolsa de equís supermercado. Ahora me acuerdo de ese día y me da tanta gracia pero de que vale disimular, si siempre tendremos nuestra realidad adentro y muchos podrán mantenerla ahí pero yo no. Me caracterizo por ser extremadamente sincera y aunque a veces trato de disimular más temprano que tarde sale a la luz, mi realidad. Pero porque escribo estas letras, en pocos días empezare el proximo semestre de la uni. y como siempre volveré a aparentar. ¡Como todos hacemos!

Ensueño

2007-10-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

Yasen cuatro meses desde su aparición trayendo consigo ilusiones, pasiones y nuevas fuerzas. Estaba en mi alcoba cuando sentí una corriente recorrer mi cuerpo entero. Era una desenfrenada pasión que a mi cuerpo amedrentaba. Desidí arroparme de pies a cabeza y en un instante un profundo sueño vino a mi. Era la navidad de hace años cortos atrás, había llegado mi invitado de un lugar no muy lejano, trajo cionsigo un presente y ganas de revivir lo antes vivido. Me acuerdo como si fuera ayer los hermosos recuerdos que mi invitado y yo vivimos, pero eran solo eso, recuerdos. De repente una llamada interrumpió mi sueño y entré en una realidad tan dulce que no quería que terminara. Era una voz del presente que provocó en mi una nueva sensación. Nunca antes vivida, ¿sería amor? No creo que lo fuera pero si era una emoción única. De ahí supe que en el prodría mezclar la realidad con el ensueño.

Caricias

2007-10-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

Me tocó y lo toqué. Me besó y le pegué. Era de esperarse- ¿Quién crees que soy? Yo soy la sombra que acaricia tu cuerpo todas las noches que lloras sin el. ¿Comó sabes que lloro por el? Tus ojos lo gritan y tu boca tambien. ¿Acaso crees que necesito de el? Solo al tocarte se te eriza la piel. Solo al mirarte vuelves a el, cada respiro es para el. Pero no ya no lo quiero a el, ahora tengo un ser que acaricia mi alma con tienas caricias. Caricias de amor y compasión. Lo siento en mi y lo amo. Ese soy yo que te he amado desde que te ví llorar por el.

Sepultado

2007-10-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

Lloviendo está. Zapatos mojados, trajes enchalcados. El Pastor se alista para empezar la ceremonia. ¿Que celebramos? Se preguntaba el niño que estaba allí. Un velorio le contesto la madre. Mujeres lloraban y los hombres las consolaban. Mientras otros cantaban himnos al Señor. Todos parecian estar en un mismo sentir, o llorando o cantando pero todos estaban unidos. De repente llega la viuda, llena de paz y serenidad. Entró a la carpa donde todos estaban reunidos. Ella parecía estar tranquila, parecía esperar este día con ansias. Su marido había muerto y ella como si nada. Entró vestida de Rojo con un enorme sombrero Blanco. Todos la miraban con caras de asombro. Ella se despidió del cadáver y se dirigió hacia el auto, donde la esperaba un caballero muy misterioso. Este hombre era muy serio y llevaba un papel en la mano. Que extrañas personas, dijo el niño. Sí, contesto la madre. Que triste debe ser morir sin ser amado. ¿Sabía alguien a donde se dirigía la mujer y el caballero? Luego de terminado el velorio todos se marcharon de esa temible montaña. A lo lejos se oyó un grito y un sombrero que volaba.

¿Lista?

2007-10-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

Era de madrugada y Jazmin ya se había levantado. -Que cansada estoy pero hay que tomar una decision. Se levanto de la cama y rápidamente buscó su maleta. -Saldré de aquí y me iré para el Este. Ella sabía lo que le esperaba, estaba muy clara de lo que quería. Bajo las escaleras de su departamento y en la puerta principal una carta la esperaba. ¡Una carta, pero que carta! Se miro de abajo hacía arriba y se reviro. Subío las escaleras como confundida. Abrío la puerta, dejo la maleta en el armario y se sento. No lo podía creer era el... El hombre que conocío la semana antes. La carta decía ¿Estas segura? Y ella se preguntó ¿estoy Lista?

Amar es olvidar

2007-10-11T15:20:00.000-07:00

"Que triste tu partida", decía el cantante en su canción. "Que hermosa tu llegada," seguia la canción. Desperté en un cuarto obscuro, los colores en las paredes eran depresivos. Solo había una cama y una mesita, en esa mesita un lápiz y un papel. Sola me encontraba cuando oí una voz fuerte como de hombre que decía, "arreglate que hoy te casas." ¿Con quien, me preguntaba? ¿A que hora? ¿Por qué no sabía quien era? Me levanté de la cama asorada, recogí mi ropa y trate de saltar por la ventana. La ventana estaba atorada, entonces me entró la ansiedad. Escuché pasos cerca de mi puerta, forcejé la ventana pero aun no cedía. Me escondí debajo de la cama, el hombre entró. Era un hombre de hermoso parecer, alto, de ojos color miel. Me llamó por mi nombre y me sentí segura, aun no conocía a ese hombre, pero el me tomó en sus brazos y me dijo que me amaba. Hice un esfuerzo por recordar quien era, pero todo fue en vano. El me pregunto, " ¿Acaso no te quieres casar conmigo?'' Lo mire a los ojos profundamente, como tratando de ver en su mirada quien era, pero no lo reconocí. No respondí a su pregunta. Me sentía tan estupida, éste hombre me ama me dije. De repente sentí el soplar del viento sobre mi cabello. ¿ Pero por donde entró? La ventana estaba cerrada. Ese viento se sintió y pude recordar. Un hombre, un amor, una caricia, un beso, un consejo, un abrazo, una palmada en la espalda, una pelea y una cara. Esa cara no era de ese hermoso hombre que se iba a casar conmigo. ¿Por qué? Quiero amar a éste hombre y lo amaré aunque no me acuerde de el, pense. Volví a mirarlo y de mi boca salió un "Dame tiempo para amarte". De sus ojos salia una lagrima que recorría sus mejillas. Lo besé tiernamente y supe que el me amaría por siempre.

Eres

2007-10-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

Eres fuego ardiente que cuando estas cerca no quemas, mas si estas lejos derrites hasta el marmol de mi ser.
~miky~

Levantate.

2007-10-03T15:16:00.000-07:00

Llueve, truena y relampaguea... Son las 12:00am. Es de madrugada. No se ve mas que el reflejo de mi rosto en lagrimas. Corro sin cesar, se que es una tormenta, pero alguien me puede socorrer. No veo nada, la lluvia a cegado mis ojos y no veo a donde voy. Siento la ropa empapada y los zapatos ya no están, mi ropa ya desgastada no da para mas. Trato de correr pero la respiración no me da para eso. Veo una casa maltrecha y abandonada en el medio de este Sahara. No encuentro como correr; de pronto tengo fuerzas para llegar y tocar a la puerta. ¡Toc! ¡Toc! ¡Toc! Nadie responde. De mi cuerpo malherido sale un grito de horror y con las fuerzas que no tengo logro decir un ¡Auxilio, que alguien me ayude! Pero, nada, nadie sale de esta horrible casa. Dentro de ésta se ve una luz, una luz que no da para iluminar ni un cuarto, pero veo signos de vida en ese hogar (Si se le puede llamar de ese modo). Era un hombre que vivia en estas condiciones, me abrio la puerta a medias mientras preguntaba quien era. Le dije, " Soy, soy,soy La muerte" Este hombre me cerró la puerta en la cara y me dijo "ven otro día, que aun no me preparo". Me enfade pero no puede sostenerme. El con lastima en sus ojos me dejó entrar y me preguntó, ¿Por qué te dices llamar la muerte? Le conteste " porque eso es lo que estoy a punto de emprender". Me miró con ojos de pena mientras me decía que me levantase, que una nueva vida me esperaba. Lo miré con éstos ojos que más grandes no se pudieron poner y me levanté. Este hombre había sido tan generoso conmigo me había permitido etrar, pero, lo odie como solo se odia al enemigo en batalla. Me marche de ahí con toda y rabia, pero este hombre me acompañó hasta donde estaba este señor. El viejo se fué y en mí solo nació el querer, luego de haberse marchado, este señor me tomó en sus brazos y me llevó a un lugar seguro. Son las 6:00am, ya ha dejado de llover, de tronar y relampaguear... Me siento fría, no siento mi cuerpo, la sangre ya no corre por mi cuerpo, ni por mi mente el pensamiento. Son las 6:00am y ya no estoy...

¿Me amaras mañana?

2007-09-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

Es una tarde fría y nublada, ha sido un día muy largo y me espera una noche igual a cualquier otra... Salgo del afán del día y me monto en lo que llamare mi escape de la cotidianidad. Subo a mi cuatro puerta y un motor y de pronto entra a mi aparato orejil una llamada no esperada. Era un espíritu pasado que volvía a rodearme... Me estremecí, dentro de mí surgió un espanto un miedo. Estática en mi auto me dirigía en direción a mi aposento ¿por que había vuelto? ¿Qué quería? ¿Qué debía hacer? Al rato de haber cortado con la conección decidí ignorar lo ocurrido, mas no pude. Contemplando en mi aposento lo ocurrido, volvieron surgir antiguas angustias y pesares. Mi fasinación por mis angustias empezaron a crecer, a crecer, a crecer... Incognitas de este fantasma acerca de su pasado de su presente y su porvenir me angustiaban sin cesar pero, a la vez llenaban mi ser de una extraña satisfacción. ¿Porqué me atormentaba?¿Porqué deseaba que volviera? Este ser había desaparecido para siempre en la oscura neblina de la noche, con un beso frío se despidió de mi ser para nunca volver. Muerte, dolor, ausencia cubrió su recuerdo. Noche que nunca olvidaré es la noche que recibí esa llamada que conectaba dos almas heridas y una historia olvidada... Pude revivir la sensación seca que quedo en mi la noche de su muerte, el era para mi lo más valioso de la mortalidad. Abrí su ataud y el olor era espantoso y elevaba mi alma a la suya, nada había en esa caja, solo vanos recuerdos de su existencia; luego entendí que el me amó de forma única. Pude sentirme amada una vez más pero en mi quedo la duda... ¿Me amaras mañana?

Progress Reports !!!

2006-10-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow my teachers will be handing out my progress reports! Hope my grades are good!!!!! I'll post later!
~miky~

Just my luck!

2006-10-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! Just writting to let each one of you know that am alright! Life is pretty darn sweet! I am loving my senior year even though it is hard work! I am enjoying most of this time with my new friends! Hope eveyone is alright! Juan dude call me! Miss you lots! Spiderman I love you, and u can't deny u love me 2! hahaha! See u people!
much love!
~miky~

Too young to...

2006-09-01T15:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight I find myself laying on top of my bed trying to fall a sleep. As I lie on my bed I open my eyes and stare at my roof, as my mind flies to my deepest thoughts... I start to think and think and think some more! I ask myself the reason of my sleepless night. I can't seem to find the answer to my question, rather I find myself asking myself other questions! Was I too young to do certain things in my life? Was I too young to fall in love? Now a days I find myself with a certain degree of lack of commitment! I can't seem to get my feelings straight! I know I am not in love with anyone right about now, but there is some attraction to a younger guy! He is great and as always good guys are either gay, married or committed! This guy is taken! He has girlfriend. Leaving that a side, I couldn't get some sleep! It was hard to get my mind of him or anyone for that matter! It was almost impossible to get some rest I had to go through many things to get to sleep! I finally went to sleep after all of those inconveniences I got to sleep for a while, now there is only that doubt. Am I or am I not to young to...

Can it be?

2006-08-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Life is a box full of surprises! Surprises can either be good or bad. Tonight I am here asking myself : What kind of surprises does life hold in for me? I am going through a stage in life where I question myself what does every little thing mean. I have found myself questioning my decisions, many of them. Can it be that finding a person that respects me isn't what I wanted? I mean no one has actually disrespected me to my face, but with action you also disrespect people. I have found someone who really cares about me and would give the world to see and make me happy, but I find myself doubting over wether not I want this for my life. My last boyfriend and I ended pretty bad to the extend that we barely speak to each other! The thing was I found out many things about him that I didn't want to believe but did anyhow! Now he and I can't even consider ourselves to be good friends because that trust I once deposit over him is long gone! Still I find myself missing that whole drama and heart-ache. Is it that I trully want to be with him? I know that I don't want to be with him. I found someone who appreciates me and wouldn't hurt me, but I am still not content! What could it be? Have I not learn to respect myself and that's why I don't quite get use to it coming from another human being? Is it that past relationships have made me who I am? I have this concern in my life I wish to calm. Even though I found this special someone I am not in love, could it be that I am afraid to love once more? So many question are born in my head and I just can't answer! As I started saying : "Life is a box full of surprises " I just wish to appreciae more the blessing that I have than to lose a great person like that. I know I won't get to be with him because I've made a decision and I am not planning on backing out. Have we lost our self-respect? Have we lost who we are? Have we traded our morals and believes? Have we hurt ourselves? I soon wish to see... the answer to all of this.

School started!

2006-08-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

Wow big news... School started!
School was pretty fun today, wellif you took away the hotness! It was awfully hot today and a matter of fact it is going to be like that for a long time! Snap! Anyways I got to see all well most of my friends that was very fun! I got to see my classmates and my other friends that graduated already. I am happy with what I lived today in school which school would be better!
Well I'll write later cuz I am tired!

Awesome night!

2006-08-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

Ohhh I am so glad I went to church last night! My church was invited to this other church in Dorado, a friend of mine invited us. The preacher was really inspired and touched by the Holy Ghost! The verse he used for the sermon was the following: Romans 12:11-12. That night was full of blessings! God is awesome! I just love him so much, he is the love of my life, my Savior, my steady rock, he is never late, he is always there when there is no one to turn to. He is simply amayzing!!!! God is love!
~miky~

I know that I know nothing at all!

2006-08-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hi!!!! Today I got some really good news! I am getting a job interview pretty soon!!! I might get a job!!! yay!! Anyhow I haven't heard anything from anyone! Yeyo is leaving tomorrow and today is his go away party!!! The only bad thing is I can't go because Stephanie can't go!!! One thing I know for sure is that they are planning on coming over to my house to say goodbye! Isn't goodbye such an ugly word???? I rather say "SEE YOU LATER!!!" It sounds prettier and it gives me hope! Very little days are missing ti'll school starts! I am going to see all of my classmates and all the new classmates I am going to have this year! It's is exciting but at the same time nerve-racking! Hopefully I'll be able to handle school and a job at the same time! God is LOVE!!!!
~miky~

School is starting pretty soon

2006-08-07T13:23:00.001-07:00

Hello it is the 7th of August and I haven't done much.
As I once wrote I had to participate in a competition this past Saturday, news flash I WON FIRST PLACE!!!! yay!!! In other news school starts this Monday! I am gonna see all of my friends and get to spend my last year with people I care about. I am looking foward to making new friends and keeping my old ones! I really hope to get good grades again so I can be in the principles honor roll! That's kindda my goal! I am so very happy with the way my life is going right now! I am happy most of the time! Not having to worry about kiddie problems etc. My dad came back from France this past Saturday he couldn't make it to my competitions but he made it in just in time for my gift (lol) I got some pretty nice earings from France!!!! Yay! I miss some people alot, yesterday I didn't hear about Chu or Rafa or anyone for that matter! I couldn't sleep that well yesterday and I just kept staring at my celphone expecting some sort off call but it wasn't from just anyone, it was from someone who mean a way lot to me and even though I knew it wasn't gonna happen deep down I wanted that person to call. As I said that person didn't call but whatever I am still living and breathing. Soon enough life is gonna start getting hectic with all the school work and friend drama! Hope it's not as I think it's gonna be! Anyways I am a whole mess writting this so I'll write later on! bye
~miky~

2006-08-01T15:57:00.000-07:00

Today was such a good day!!! My cousins are staying with me this week and today we went shopping and I saw Chu and Yeyo!!! We bought stuff and went to see My super Ex-girlfriend it's hott you've got 2 see it! Anyhow we ended our day eating at Johny Rockets it was good though the service was medeocre! Anyhow now I am leaving or church! A little desappointed because I have these competitions on Saturday and I haven't had time to practice yet!~ Wtite back l8r

Serious Talk.

2006-07-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a nice day for me, I finished buying my school material and at night I went to church with Chu! Afterwards we went to catch a bite at Mc Donalds, there we found another friend of ours, Irvin, it was cool! I need to seriously talk to one of my friends! I am so worried! Till then what the heck can I do?????
~miky~

The way he treats me!!!

2006-07-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

I feel like a princess!!!! Maybe better... He treats me as if I was the prettiest girl in the universe, he makes me feel good about myself. He brings the best out of me!! He has been of great support to me these days. He is so fun and easy going, great to hang out with and to have a serious conversation with! He is a new friend of mine! He is not like every other friend I have or had, he doesn't look alike and he sure doesn't treat me like them either, not that I haven't had friends who treat me right but he has been so nice, sweet and I don't know but we have so much in common! Of course we also have differences but we enjoy similar things! I am happy I found this new friend, MY GREATEST FEAR is to fall for him, I hope not. For now we are great friends, the thing is he doesn't remind me in anyway to my best friend, he is different. We both play the drums well he plays and I am trying to play it, we both like extreme sports, we have similar views to the future and people treating others etc. It is fun to be with him. I have found an awesome friend!!! And I sure am greatful!
~miky~

Birthday!!!!

2006-07-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

TODAY was my birthday I turned 17~ yay!!! I got calls from everyone!!! Still one person I really wanted to call didn't, but leaving that behind I had a pretty neat time, though I wanted to go out with mybest friend (ex, w/e) I miss him but I can do nothing about it!!! My friends came and visit me I had fun we got wet together (lol) Today 2 guys told me they really liked me! It was kind of a shocker, but it feels good (don't tell them) This wasn't what I expected of a birth day I really wanted to spend this important day with all of my close friends and even though I spoke to most of them, I miss his phisical presence by my side! Change is crude but it has to be done! I am so hurt with his attitudes all the lies and all the things he didn't mean to do but still went ahead and did them. I don't know what to believe anymore I just wish things wouldn't have happend they way they did! I am relieve to know his best friend is in town and can help him in everything I am dying to help him in! He is having it pretty smoothly he has his girlfriend helping him and his best friend! Hope he is doing great, even though I sometime die to call him my too much of a feminist side kicks in and stops me! I just want to leave it clear, and out of the blue, he is and will always be my best friend no matter what! He is family to me! Anyways my birth day was pretty cool, I bought myself some things for my drum set and I am planning practicing with Josue my (drum teacher)(hahaha) and Chu my new ... ( what are you thinking, he is only my new advance drum istructor). Anyways I am really want to watch Little man and I also want to see My super ex- girlfriend!!!!! If anyone has seen them please give me a quick review!!!! Thanks God is LOVE~
~miky~

A spot of light!

2006-07-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

Last night was a little rough on me! After spending a pretty decent time with my family( cousins, sibbling and parents) I came back home! Oh well we made a stop at church 'cause you know spiritual things come first! Anyhow I came back home to find myself in a whole bunch of trouble, someone started a nasty rumor about me and some other guys and it got to the ears of those guys and we were all asking ourselves how in the world could our lives get so screwed in such a short period of time???? Anyhow the guys told me to stay cool that they would fix it!!! And I think they did! Well at least one of them!!! My "boyfriend"(lol) as every other person knows him now, but thats over with thank goodness!!! Yesterday I got some weird txt messeges from people I've never expected to get them from but never the less I am just taking some time for myself, tired of being involve in so much drama!!!!! Now I have a few selected friends who I talk 2! Some changes had to be done! Hope they are the correct ones! Anyways thanx for being my blank sheet of paper!!! I love writting! bye laters every one!
~miky~

Friend are like bitches!!!!

2006-07-23T14:07:00.000-07:00

Friends change for the stupidest things!!!! Like their Girlfriends!!!! My best friend has changed and his girlfriend is messing with his mind and putting him against me. I am not gonna fight for this for our friendship!!! Now I really don't wanna know anything about him! Screw friends!!! Friends like that though!!! Anyways Forget my bitterness but thats what I feel!
~miky~

Am back

2006-07-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

Howdy everyone I am back and really hope it's for a long time but lately I've been a little occupied and haven't had enough time to post anything!
Love you all!! post later!
~miky~

Kiss me...

2006-06-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

Do you know what's the real meaning of a kiss?

I must be the most fruitiest person in the whole universe, because I consider a kiss,
the highest expression of love! Why, you may ask? When I kiss someone, that
kiss is full of feelings and emotions , I put my heart in it!!! That's the
chance for me to connect on a higher level with someone I love... I might be
the only person who values the real significance of a kiss, but that makes me
unique!!! I can't just kiss anyone, because when I kiss someone, I am giving them
a little bit of me!!! I am all out there when I share that special gesture with
that special person!!! Kissing is awesome, but people don't throw them around as if
they were nothing, they can speak louder than words if you know how to use them...

Wishing you where here...

2006-06-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month since the BIG BREAK!
3 more days and it would have been a month!! Sad but true!
I MISS you so very much, but sometime I get the feeling that
I have already forgotten you! It's sad to know we will never get
back that opportunity to make it work! Now I just watch a head and
wonder what would have been, but not with sadness in my eyes but hope...
God giveth, God taketh away!!! Maybe someday oh wait that's too late...

Summer Sensation!!!!

2006-05-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since I've started my summer vac. and I have done plenty of things!!!
Many of them have been with important people for me and some just happened!!! I am looking foward on
spending the rest of my summer having fun with my friends and family!!!
love you all
~miky~

A little too late...

2006-05-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

How confusing can life be? When people are in-love everything changes for them, there are no bad feelings, no doubts, no regrets!!! At least thats what people expect! Recently I was in a relationship where the doubts where always there, It didn't mean I didn't love him though...
I loved him and still do, the catch to all of this was, he had just came out of a relationship to rush in with me! I was scared all those feelings he felt for her would come back and I would wind up all alone and destroyed!!! I know I should have trusted a little more, but in my case everyone knew or thought it would happen, that's why I doubted, I didn't want to be the last to know he didn't really love me! When we broke up it was hard but not as much, now a few days have past by and all that I think is about him. I know now is just too late to go back and try to fix everything and maybe I'll have to learn to live without him, ( am I serious I have been heart broken before, but this one is a bit harder). I'll survive!!! I know I will, the only thing I regret is having that small chance and not really making it work!!! Oh well love starts love ends!!!! I still love you with all of my strengh!!! ~miky~

How to treat your girl friend!!!

2006-05-22T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hey guys if you are reading this take note and put it in action...
Simple rules to follow;

a) Love them, and accept them for who they are. (Don't tell her you would like if she was like some other girl, it's not fun)

b) Respect her, give her some space!!!

c) Show her you love her, call her just to know how she is or just to say how much you love her!

d) Call her back!!!

e) Surprise them once in a while!!!

f) Let her know that she is everything for you!

g) NEVER, NEVER compare your girl to any other girl, especially your ex!

h) Make sure to give your girlfriend enough attention, don't give other people more attention than what you give your girlfriend.

i) Trust them, once in a while show her some special treatment, open up to her.

j) Give her some compliments!!! ( hey baby you look gorgeous tonight!) (that never hurted anyone)

k) Be honest, don't lie, much less when it is something very big that will affect both of you!!!!

l) Simply treat her like your girl friend ( your most valuable treasure).

These are some simple rules, easy to follow and will help a lot!! I gave this title to this post but it helps in both ways girls you can also treat your boyfriends the way this says! Remember people treat your other half the way you would like to be treated!!!! Love you all!!!
~miky~

Bad news!!!

2006-05-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

Super Bad News!!!
I am extremely sick, I feel terrible!
Don't get scared its nothing serious, I just have a cold!
In the other hand, Puerto Rico's Crisis is over now!!!!
School re-starts on Monday!!! I am not that excited now, I got used to staying
up late and waking up even later, it'll be hard to start waking up at 6:00am!
I am still looking foward on seeing my friends!!!
I miss them a lot!
~miky~

blah

2006-05-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

hello everyone!!!!
I am sorry I haven't written lately, its just that I haven't had any decent time to be online!!!
Summer has started, everything is going fine! I miss my friends a lot but I've seen some! Sylvia and I went this saturday to Puerto Rico High Fashion Week!!! It was cool, we saw 2 fashion shows each of different Designers ofcourse!!! We had a pretty nice time together, but even though I was happy I went to such event, I was really happy I spent some time with my best friend Sylvia!!! Yesterday I was shopping for mother's day gifts, after that I went to my other best friends house and we had an awesome time!!!! (lol) My life is really not that exciting but I've been having a NICE TIME during this "summer".
Oh I can't forget to mention I spoke to a very important person this week (Juan, ofcourse) It had been a very long time with out actually knowing anything about him!!!!
well I didn't actually speak to him!!! Thanx God 4 the internet!!!
Love you people!!!
~ MiKy~

La-la-land!!!

2006-04-30T21:38:00.000-07:00

I have this term I use when I am in love and that term is lala-land!!! I feel all happy and out of this world and that is exactly how I feel!!! I am in-love !!!!

Love is a feeling you can't control.
I did'nt choose to fall in love with you...
it just kind of happened!!! I am so happy,
because I know you feel the same way...
I wish we could be together forever! I miss
you every second I am not with you!! I love you
honestly!!! I know you must be as excited as I am...
I need to be with you, I need to think of you, I need to see
you, talk to you and be with you!!! I deeply love you!!!
Your love I can't compare to no other!!! I wish we could be
but... only time will tell. Love you with what is left of my heart!!!
Your already a big part of me!!!!
Love you!

School is out!!!

2006-04-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

School is over!!!! I have 3 month vacation instead of 2!!! In Puerto Rico we are all living in a crisis!!! There is no money to pay teachers or any employee who works for the government!!!
This is all a big mess I pray to God things get better!!!
Anyways, I wont get to see my friends as often as I used to thats bad for me!!!
Write l8r!!

Just another day!

2006-04-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hi people!
Today wasn't an extraordinary day! I got to school feeling happy and soon enough my day turned against me. I spent today a bit mad at my friend for acting all stupid towards me, anyways today I had an oral report with my friend Sylvia we where kind of nervous (seroiusly, it was me), but it turned out fine! After that, we just waisted time talking nonesense and making fun of our friend playing pokemon!!! When the day was almost over, one of my closest friends, bursted out how sick he was/is of me and Sylvia "nagging" on him all the time, and wanting to be with him all the time! I have to admit it was a bit harsh, but thats the way he feels, later on it was too darn uncomfortable talking to him. Sylvia and I where astounded by the news but still we tried to act normal, it wasn't easy! I wanted to get up and leave and never talk to him again, but he is our friend and maybe (just maybe) he is right! Thanks God I am home no more school or friend's dilema!!! It is good to take a break from things! I am a little sad, because school is over friday, which means I am not going to get to see my friends as often!!! I'll miss them a lot though we have plans to go out on the summer hope we can actually do them! Oh well I'll write l8r, LOVE YOU ALL!!
DAISY GURL'S RULE!!!!

Take a day!!!

2006-04-24T15:40:00.000-07:00

Hi guys!!!! Live day by day!!! And never forget that people somewhere love you just because of you!!! Love you!!!
I love ~the daisy girls~ kisses girls!!!! Oh and I am just too happy!!! God is awesome!!!! See you guys be happy and let God fil your lives... Take a day to love yourselves!!! Thinking of a spa, aren't you!!! hahaha(lol)I'll write later on!
bye!

A thing called love...

2006-04-23T12:21:00.000-07:00

My heart is swollen...
My dreams broken...
He took me up
to bring me down...
He made me laugh,
He made me cry...
He thought he loved me,
but that was just one more
of his many confusions...
He showed me life...
But gave me death...
He offered an open door,
which he soon enough closed...
He made me belive we'd be okay,
while he always knew we wouldn't!
Why did he use me?
Why did he play those games?
Why did he make me say all the things I felt?
Why didn't I notice this?
Why was I so darn stupid?
Why did I ever let myself do such a stupid thing?
What did I get out of this, a broken heart?
Why did you do this to me?
Why didn't you think of me, my feelings?
Why, oh why did you hurt me in this way?

"LOVE is only a four letter word...if it really does mean something..then why do some people take it for granted and not mean it?..and if the word LOVE is real..then why can some people say it every other person they meet?"~taken out of an anonymous, written for a friend~
" The ironic thing is I feel the very same way"...

Losing touch...

2006-04-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

Sitting, in a hospital, waiting to hear the doctor's news. Bitting my nails, woundering what was going on! I hear a scream, a terrorizing scream! More tension was built inside me!
Where is he, where is he I yelled at the nurse who was passing by- Calm down, she said with a firm voice! I was scared, I was anxious, I was desperate!!! I waited and waited and still no news.
Is he dead? I asked myself!
What is going on in there! I felt like running towards the door and going in to where he laid.
He is the man I love, I answered when the doctor asked for a family member. I am sorry miss you are not a relative, he exclamed! I was devastaded, I tried to persuade him until he said I could go in. When I finally get granted the wish to go see him, I waited out side, took a deep breath and softly opened the door. There he was, laying there, stiff, not moving any muscle! I stood by his side, and soon I bursted out in tears, could it be? Could he really be dead! I rapidly demanded to know. To know why he didn't love me? why he lied? why he cheated? I was furious, but no matter how strong I felt and wanted to kill him, another part of me loved him so... Not knowing what to do! I started to talk to him I told him everything I felt how much I loved him and how much I wanted him to be okay. He is in coma, replied the nurse, she told me that everything would be alright. WAIT, WHAT IS THAT!!!! Why is he jumping whats going on, is he gonna die? why was he there? What happened to him? Get out!!!- The doctor shouted, I was nervous So nervous that I couldn't move!!! The dragged me out of the room I was desperate was I going to lose him? I was so uncontrolable that they took me away...
Where was I going I couldn't see anything! All was dark, I could only hear a vague voice, that said; I love you ... It's time... Hold my hand... Be mine...
What I didn't recognize the voice whose was it! Oh no I can't breathe, I am losing my senses...
Get me out of here ! I yelled what's wrong Can't anybody hear me...

Straight ahead!!

2006-04-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

I am in this road, I find myself wondering wich way to go...
I don't know but my life has been taking different turns in which I find myself lost!
I think I know which things are good for me and which are not, but I seem to keep bumping with the same rock in the middle of the road! I am not making any sense I know, but how else do I describe the journey my life is taking me... It is hard for me to accept that I am stuck!! It's like my life has found its' limite, the end of the road, and I can't walk anymore! I am so confused!!! It seems both ways at the end of the road are closed for me... What am I to do?
It is a dark road I walk... Sometimes I think I can see light but it is only an illusion!! I am tired and thirsty this road has gotten the best of me. No matter what I keep walking to find myself still in the same spot. I stumble and I fall, that's when I see the exit, but as soon as I get up it all fades away...

About a boy!

2006-04-13T15:55:00.000-07:00

I know I came to you when everything is/was wrong and a mess!!!
I still know I want to be a part of you I want to be that force which sets things right...
I know I don't have super powers to change what is going on... but I want to try and make you happy. All these feeling inside burn, like crazy. I wish I could go right there where you are and love you like I use to and still do. I love you with all my heart, I know it's too late... Please don't tell me you don't love me anymore... Give me a chance to show you how much I care!
When I close my eyes the first picture I have is yours, I want to leave all behind and run away with you...
Just to feel you close for the very last time!!! I wish I could explain myself better, but if I could just look at you, you would know what my heart wants to tell you...

The roller coaster ride!!!!

2006-04-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

Jajaja! Really pathetic of me, I haven't been anywhere yet!
I named this post the roller coaster ride, because this is actually the way I am feeling!
I feel like I am in a roller coaster, because sometimes I am up and some down, and needless to say all those turns I take! Today I am feeling neutral, there hasn't been any great impact! I am alone withmy mother, which isn't technically bad, but it's not fun! I miss going out and I wish I could go out right now! I had a desperating dream last night!!! That's why I woke up feeling funny today! Anyways I have nothing to write about so, I'll write l8r on!

Swimming in deep waters!

2006-04-07T17:04:00.000-07:00

Hi people I am glad that today is Friday, today we start our spring break over here in Puerto Rico!!! YAY!!!
Anyways today was a so/so day! I spend most of my time with one of my greatest friends Sylvia and the rest of the time I spent with Walter a new friend of mine! I was feeling great all day long, until 1:50pm came, then I started to feel desperate and I wanted to leave, I had plans to go shoe shopping with Stephanie, but she had to cancel and that's when it hit me, I wanted to leave school right then! I had to wait till 3:00pm to leave and I was growing sick of school I just wanted to have fun and spend some time with Stephanie, but we couldn't do anything about it. She had to stay in school to help her boyfriend out in some school assigment! Today I got really moody, after missing my friend Spiderman, when he finally sat next to me and Sylvia after a while I didn't want to be by his side!!! It wasn't his fault and he did nothing to me, for me to react that way, but I felt angry and disappointed with myself! After I had "vanished" all my feelings to a certain guy... They came over me today, it came back to me! but I've learned something about this, I know how to live with them, without them taking control of me!!! Anyways I took it out on my friend, I am sorry sweety, I love you!!!! Anyways I hope this few days off help me in some way!

Another day in school!

2006-04-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

Hi people right about now I am in school in my Chemistry class !!! Suposively working!!! lol
I am enjoying myself for now. Next to me is my best friend Sylvia and she is also "working" (jajaja)! I have so many things to do but still I am here procrastinating! I love you people! Have a nice day!
take care talk 2 you later!

A horrible day!

2006-04-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

Today was a fine day until a friend of mine was hurting!
Problems take control of our lives! Which I find that it is unfair!
Can we live without any emotions? Why is it so hard for us human beings to deal with our emotions? I know it can be hard, I've been through hard time in which I hav thought I was going to die, but still I've made it through! Is it harder on other people? What is there to do?
I know I don't know everything, much less I understand everything, I just wish us people wouldn't make such a big deal out of our emotions! I speak for myself and only of myself! I wish I had the power to stop the hurting in this world... I know it is just a dream, but it sound pretty nice! Feelings aren't everything in this world and believe it or not everyone will get over all the suffering, someday... Look at the positive things God sends us, and you will survive!

I... can ... breath...again!

2006-04-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

I made it, I made it, I made it!!!! that's what I said.
I have walked so much and fought so hard to get where I am...
I have reached the top of the mountain!!!
That is what I though, I take myself back to these last days, where I have cried, laugh and yelled. And it all seems worth it! I know it sounds weird but I finally got where I wanted to be, on top! I know life gives you situations, but I am glad I can say I MADE IT THROUGH!
------------------------------------WAIT---------------------------------------------
What if it's a ilusion? what if I am not really there? What if this is the way my mind uses to make a fool out of me?Can I be a houndred percent certain of this? I surely can not! I wish I had fallen a sleep and woken up to a new and bright morning... Is it too much to ask?

That's an abstract of something I wrote!
* When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade!*

A new point of view!

2006-04-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was feeling very bad (emotionaly), but I decided I was going to church anyways!
I got there and I felt the same, but when the preacher began his sermon I felt God's precense in my life. I decided to ask God to forgive me and start living my life how he wants me to! I think that's the best decision I have ever taken! Now all I feel is joy, no more sadness, no more depresion, just happyness and joy! I love God so much! He is the best an he is always there when you need him, 24/7! God bless you all!

Half of you!

2006-03-31T10:59:00.000-08:00

It is funny how quickly you forget!
It is so ironic, how fast you can't remember what you felt for me...
You know what, I knew this was going to happen!
I just didn't think it would be that simple for you to take me off your mind!
All those words you once told me are revolving in my head!
To think you never cared as much as I did.
I start to think, what if you always lied, what if you never felt the way you said you did,
what if you where making everything up and making me believe you felt something for me...
I feel so stupid and most of all so worthless!
I felt for your stupid act!
Aww, I get so mad for being so blind!
Why did you have to play this games, if you never wanted anything else?
How come you showed me one side I loved and then you used me to get what you really wanted (u know ur girl).
I feel so low, loving you so much and you don't give a damn!
I hope your happy!!! I just can't be how I used to be with you, I know you already forgot about me but I still care about you, even though you don't care anymore!
I really hope all of your dreams come true with her, but I can't be your friend (as much), because I don't want just half of you!

Messed up life!

2006-03-31T10:46:00.000-08:00

Today sucked! as ussual!
I had to take an exam, and I got out of school at 10:10am, something like that. To find myself wasting my time, my mom went to school to pick up my report card, I got a C in english, I was so mad! My grades are my life in high-school I always do what I can to be the best I can, but it seems that wasn't enough this time, now I've decided I am not going to waste anymore time trying to get my friends to like me and getting to know people, I am going to spend more time in somethinh far more important! me!!! and my school work! bye guys I'll write later on!

Whatever!

2006-03-30T17:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever taken a decision so fast that you haven't thought of the consequences it brings? I am so mad at myself I feel that I "put myself too out there" I explain myself, I told and showed this guy how much I liked him and loved him. For what? I guess now, he was as fake as many people are to me, and this kills me on the inside! I guess he didn't care as much as he said he did! Everything in my life seemed so fake these last days, my "friends" where or are so not honest with me, I trully feel people talk to me to show others how nice they can be! I hate it so much feeling like I don't belong everywhere I go! I do have some real friends though! I wish and hope to show them how real I am! Few days ago I have been evaluating what to do with my friends, who's friendship I trully want and need and which I don't care about anymore! I've decided who my real friends are and who I just care not to have their friendship, the only catch is I think I am going to lose another friend because of the decision I took. Only the Lord knows what will happen, but I worry not because I know that if I do lose other friends because of this, it was God's hand in all of this. I need to change my life, I want to do so many things, but first of all I have to ask God for help only he can help me! If you have friends appreciate them!
Oh and don't expose yourself that much when nothing is true as you think, you only end up throwing away presious feelings! I thought you did love me, but to hell with it all, hope your happy!

Where you want me to be...

2006-03-26T13:28:00.000-08:00

I am so confused,
so I start to walk.
I took two steps back,
but you pulled me in.
I was starting to get comfortable,
then you push me back out.
I thought I knew what you wanted,
but I guess I was wrong...
I was so happy,
but I guess that shouldn't last.
Can't I be happy,
for more than several months...
I thought with you it might be different,
but I find myself writting this.
I wish I knew how I
got myself into this.

Love you all!! I hope you feel like part of my life when I write...
bye people take care!

Why? When?

2006-03-24T14:52:00.000-08:00

Why are we living like this?
Why does this have to be a dream?
Why do we love each other so much?
Why do I dream with being yours?
Why can't we live what we feel?
Why do we have to prive ourselves from all these feelings?
Why do I think about you when I don't have you?
Why, oh, why can't we be happy together?

When did you realize you liked me?
When did you realize this could only be a dream?
When did I fall for you?
When will we accept that we can't be without each other?
When we are together, doesn't it feel right?

I need you to see I am lost without you...
I need to feel you close to me, cause when you are not my life is a mess!
I need to know we are going to be alright...
I wish you the best of luck!
Goodbye!

Will you keep my secret?

2006-03-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

Will you keep my secret?
Don't say anything...
Just hold me,
Don't promise me anything.
I don't want to have to think,
I just want to feel like I do when
we are together.
Do I deserve this?
Have I asked for this,
so many questions,
revolving in my mind,
You've got me woundering...
Can I be any happier?
I miss you, I need you,
Don't you get tired of hearing this?
I LOVE YOU!

* This is an old thing I wrote, but never wanted to post it,well maybe because I thought you guys already get too much of me in lala-land! You know this is 4 you, so see you soon! Beware I am going to win my bracelet back!

In love with two different people...

2006-03-23T14:01:00.000-08:00

First...
He is caring but distant,
he Loves me but he has another love
he is confused
he doesn't quite know what he wants
he has taken a decision
He wants another girl...

Second...
He is caring and loving.
he is close to me and he would do what he can to see me happy
he expresses what he feels for me
He know what he feels for me
he would run out at midnight to be next to me
He wants me but he already
made a decision to forget me...

I know it seems obvious I have to forget him and I will
I promise myself to forget this love that has me stressing over him
I won't make the same mistake, I won't let this "love" kill me
" What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
I will get through and I will let you all know when this happens...

Sleep is my escape...

2006-03-23T13:47:00.000-08:00

This is sad how I've come to loathe everything I am used to.
Today started out like and normal day, nothing special just the samething I do always.
I got to school to find the same people I talk to everyday, doing the samething they always do...
My friends dealing with their own situantions, my best friend trying to get the girl he likes to actually be with him, and everyone else just fullfilling the job they had to do... There was a good part in all of this day, I got to enjoy myself in "la Confra" which was amayzing, out of that, this whole day sucked! It's true that I love to sleep a lot, but when everything around you isn't fun anymore you have to find your own escape! I dindn't have to find an escape when I was in my other school people where just so out of the ordinary!!! I somrtime ask myself if it was really worth it, leaving my other school, I had my friends, a life, etc. I don't want to be so negative but I am not satisfied with the "life" I have...

A wounderful dream...

2006-03-22T16:54:00.000-08:00

Today was like a dream come true...
The guy I am totally crazy for came over and we spend the whole day together!
Playing around and just enjoying ourselves together!
If this is a dream I don't want to wake up!
I felt so close to him, I felt his chest against mine, his heart beat...
I felt him actually loving me and wanting me!
It was special, I haven't felt like that in a really long time! The thing was I felt it so real, something that tomorrow is going to slap me in the face and show me the opposite!
Do I have to wake up? I don't want to lose this feeling, I am so happy knowing that he was mine only for a day, maybe it was only in my thoughts... Can't you blame me for wanting to have him, I know he doesn't feel like I do but for only a momment I want to think he does!
You are the sweetest of all dreams! and I can't bear having you taken out of my life like that... that's why I decide to never wake up of this beautiful dream...

Once again...

2006-03-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

Once again I have fallen in the deep traps of love...
I thought I knew it all, I thought I was faster,smarter and way more skilled than Love itself.
How dumb was I, I thought I could play with fire and not get burn!
At first, I had the ball on my court... I made the rules, and decided when the game would end,
but in a bad move I made, I lost the ball, and I started to play a different kind of game,
in which I had no control of what was about to happen. At the begining the game started slow, I could barely feel love... I just felt something which I feel for anyone close to me, maybe appreciation, once the game sarted I started to feel funny, I couldn't stop talking to him, I couldn't stop thinking of him... and I was mad, I didn't want it to end like that I wanted to be able to say I like you now and not tomorrow. I know it sounds terrible but I didn't want to accept the fact I could fall in love again. So I started to act back, I took some drastic measure to vanish this whole feeling. I started to separate from him and anyone who reminded me of him, I started to find other guys who would occupy his position, I made up stories for myself in which I saw him as an evil person just to calm that sensation I felt for him. Nothing worked, my plan backfired, this made me so upset! I thought of myself as a strong girl who could do as she pleases and decides who to fall in love with. For long days I felt sorry for myself and I enclose myself from reality! Could it be possible, that I could be in love with someone against my own will, I asked to myself. Everything surrounding me shouted it's imposible for you to love this guy! I knew it was true but still I felt so secure with him, I wanted to be with him no matter what when I finally got to the point I knew that I loved him... reality slapped me on the face!
I have still not won or lost this game, but at least I know that if he is not for me and that probbably is the truth, I won't ever try to fight against Love, because it is much bigger that anything I can handle. Loving him has been a rollercoaster of mixed emotions, now having to see him with another girl saddens me but at the same time it's a relief to know I didn't change what he felt for his soon to be_ _ _ _!!!
What I learned in all of this was... Don't try to think you can handle ur emotions on your own...
Some times we are lucky to have things happen as we desire but we are not always going to have that luck...

The shortest, longest story...

2006-03-20T15:33:00.000-08:00

I can't take my mind off you

Here I am once again, thinking on whether I should forget you or love you.
Many nights I've been contemplating on how much I want to be with you...
You are the reasson of my happiness, you have the control on your hands, you decide if I move or stay, I can't take my mind off of you. It's silly how one person has so much power over another. It is creapy, but I picture you in my head night and day, what should I do, I ask myself... What decision should I take! I probably should move on and see if there is anyone else out there for me but I can't I want you and only you... You are the only one who makes me smile, in that unusual way I do when I look into your eyes. I need you and want you. I am in a constant plead " be mine" and no one elses! So selfish I've become but I desire so badly to spend my days with you... You rock my whole world, and I love you for that!!! Thanks for always being here! I will always love you I promise... You know I am talking about you, you are the only man in my life right now! Thanx for making my life so exciting!!
I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!

Not anymore!

2006-03-20T15:06:00.000-08:00

Hi, it's me once again writting about my not cool life!!!
It is true that a couple of things have happened, Peolpe in my life found love wich I think is awesome, and I myself think I love someone also... Complicated, right?
I am very happy to have someone who cares so much about me even though I am not with him, he makes me feel so good, so special and so cared for. He is an extraordinary person! I love him!!!
Don't get scared please, But you know I do or so I wish you knew I do LOVE YOU!

One more time!

2006-03-19T14:04:00.000-08:00

Here I am again, wishing to be sleeping!(lol)
I am becoming dull I have no impacting story!
Something new in my life is I am planning on going of to the states to study.
I am considering to go to Oregon or Ohio, maybe Texas, I am not quite sure but I am thinking of moving out of Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico is very nice don't mis-judge me, I love where I live but I want a change to start my life somewhere else, maybe more exciting!
I'll miss my friends like crazy, I hope I can see them on holidays and summer break...
O well until that happens I'll enjoy the time I have with my friends.

These past days...

2006-03-17T18:20:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!
I miss chatting with my friends!!!!
I've had some pretty nice last 2 days...
I spend time with my best friend, I went over to his house and we hung out, it was awesome!
Today I went to church and it was off the hook! God's presence was there we could feel him!
Even though I had fun these last days one of those days was the most painful of all I've had...
Memories brought back from my sub-conscience, took over me. Horrible day was that one.
Talk 2 u guys some more l8r.

Bla bla bla...

2006-03-14T17:39:00.000-08:00

Today I am very happy!
Even though I am just writting to write, cause I am too lazy to write tonight!
I'll just write a quote then;

DON'T BELIEVE IN MIRACLES, DEPEND ON THEM.
Laurence J. Peter

Isn't obvious...

2006-03-13T15:28:00.000-08:00

Isn't it obvious...
That I love you,
can't you see it in my eyes
how much I dream about you.

Isn't obvious...
That I am dying in dispair,
I need to be near you.
I try to get close but then I pull back;
I am so afraid of getting hurt...

Isn't obvious...
I know you can't tell, but
my soul is crying for help,
it's crying so loud and you can not hear it.

Isn't obvious...
That when we are apart,
time seems longer.

I know you don't know that I am dying here with out you... I need to see you, I need to hold you, I need to feel you... It's so silly how you being so close to me I desperately need you so much. Hopefully one day we will be more than strangers...

My thoughts...

2006-03-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

I need you to know, the importance you have in my life...
I don't want to say it but it's true you are always on my mind, I wish to know how you are, I wish to be next to you every second of my life. ( SUPER STALKER) I really appreciate the friendship you have given me. You are so true to me and I know I might be selfish sometimes because I want you all to myself. (lol) I love you, you are the greatest friend ever and I couldn't bear to loose you so please never leave me... Many people in my life have turned their backs on me, but I am certain that you are not like those people. Thanks for always showing me the way, and always trusting me. I feel that our friendship is so pure! Thanks for every memory shared!
"I love you not because of who you are but what I become when I am with you", thats a really nice saying I think I can apply it on myself! Thanks for making a better person out of me...
Love you lots! your best friend, Miky

L.O.V.E.

2006-03-12T13:31:00.000-08:00

What can we do with out love? I know sometimes I feel so hurt that I say I don't believe in love or I don't know what love truly is but I don't know where I would be without love.

You'll never get to know how I feel,
I'll never let it show,
you don't now how much it hurts me to know,
I have never had you and probably now I will
never have. You are so far away from me...
Not fisically but spiritually;
I wish I could tell you how much I want you.
It burns so much to know you and I, is not even a posibility,
we are so different... we are two strangers, who will never meet.
I am scared to accept how I feel for you...
You brighten my day with out even saying a word.
I want to be close to you even if it is for a second,
to breathe the air you breathe,
to feel you close to my heart and body.
I know now that dreams are only dreams, but
you are the sweetest of all dreams.

Secrets &Life

2006-03-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

It's funny how people make little things so big!!!
Hi everyone, something new has happened in my life! It's scary in a wierd way but it is happening I am getting weird but nice feelings in my stomach, I think I am falling for someone! The only bad thing is that, it's the wrong person to fall for. He is not the kind of guy I usually go for... anyhow this will never work we are to different to maybe like each other! And back to the start he has a girlfriend, that makes him unreachable, restricted, forbiden! That doesn't matter that much anyhow, it's still a nice feeling I wouldn't want to get rid off.

SUCCESS!

2006-03-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

Today was my schools fashion show, and I have to say it was awesome!!!
We had so much fun! We had a few problems but none concerning our preformance on stage. I wish I knew how to post pictures so I could show you how we looked but I don't know how to post pictures! Anyways thanks for taking your time to read this. bye

One more day!

2006-03-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

I love God over everything in this world!!!!
Hey guys today has been a hard day, but I am happy it's over the whole drama and everything! I really wish tomorrow turns out to be a great day after all. I need a breakfrom everything, I am thinking spa, massages,manicure and a pedicure! That sounds great. Whatever, I don't have time for a break, in two more days I 'll be participating in my schools fashion show, it's nerve racking, I am use to the pressure of having to give a good show, I am a model, but ugh its hard when ur whole school is going to be there and you know they'll be talking about it for days. Anyhow, guys I hope each and every one of you are okay, take care, love you all!

Everything is brand new...

2006-02-28T18:23:00.000-08:00

People tend to think that when something is done with you should move on ...
Thats why I chose this title, everything new. Look its been a couple of months since my break-up and everything is running smoothely, needless to say that I did care strongly about him and he will never leave my heart or life. But things have changed hugely, now I don't feel this pressure to be with someone else, I really would like to be by myself for now. BOYFRIEND, is a huge word that not everyone can fufill after my last one. I've come to realize that I am not as ready as I thought to be in a serious relationship with someone else. You have to be so devoted to that other person and stuff... I don't want the same things I once wanted, now everything is new! My priorities are so different now... it is God,friends & family, and school. I don't have time for dilemas or anything else. I love my friends to death!!! Love you all...

I'm not bitter...I'm mad as hell!!!

2006-02-24T11:51:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day or so I thought, (stupid me) nothing could ruin my day, but I was wrong. How can a simple e-mail damage an entire day of happiness? It is possible,and it did. I got home to check my e-mails and I got only 1 the worst one I have ever gotten, it was from someone I used to care a lot for. I was so shocked by the title, I had to read it, when I started to read it, I began to feel so disgusted and furious, I felt so overwhelmed by anger. Worst than all was that this person that I thought I knew well thinks so bad about me. I am sooo sorry for ever giving this person any reason to think that way about me (if I ever did). I just want to tell that person if he/she ever reads this blog is, too bad you think that I would ever do something bad to you, I promise you I wouldn't , but it's a fact now that I don't want to hear about you, at least not for the moment! Know for a fact that I do forgive you for doubting me, I really do, I don't want to hear about you because it hurts to much to know that a friend so close like you doubts me. I will get over this, sooner or later...
I know that tomorrow I might not feel bad about this problem, but this is going to scar me. I'm not bitter...I'm mad as hell !!!!

A quote for the day!

2006-02-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

"No one can ever make you feel less than what you are, unless you let them."

Don't ever give that kind of power to anyone!

and a romantic one to top it off!

" You've made me realize that I've always been missing something I never ever knew I wanted"

Isn't that sweet!!!

Reality check!

2006-02-18T12:45:00.000-08:00

Saturday, Febuary 18,2006

What kind of thing do we girls think?

I was talking to a very good friend of mine and we stated a sprited conversation (discussion) about girls always getting which ever guy the wanted... I was furious because I really think we can't always get the guy we want, and if we could why would we be alone sometimes? Anyhow later on, in the conversation he admited that we can't always get the one we want but sometimes we can! I wish that were true because I really like this guy and he doesn't seem to see me that same way, he does think I m awesome and everything, but I am like one of the guys for him. Which is totally bumer, I don't quite know because I am sure I don't want to be committed in a relationship, but I would like to see if we could get to know each other better. So maybe we can't always get the guy we want but we can always try! So if anyone is going through the same awkward feeling I am going through I just have to tell you one thing don't give up, try your best and if you don't secceed you'll still have a great friend anyways! So risk a little, go for it! At least thats what I tell myself!!! l8r everyone...

Valentine's madness!

2006-02-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a pretty nice day, I thought it would be this horrible painful day but it wasn't! I had lots of fun! My friends gave me pretty sweet gifts; I got a stuffed animal, chocolate, flowers and candy!!! I really wasn't expecting any of that but it was really nice! Thank you guys! I hope everyone of you had a great day as well! bye till next time...

Its what I call growing up!

2006-02-08T15:46:00.000-08:00

Whoa! I haven't posted in a long while now! Hello every one!
My life has been pretty sweet until this week! Man this week sucks...
Anyhow talking about the subject, even though this week hasn't been the best one ever I have learned some "neat" stuff. Somethings that I instsit were meant for me to get over with, to mature. Want to know something? Life is like a class we have to take, we have many quizes to go through before taking the test. It is funny what I go through and worry about when there are so many other people with huge problems. This week, okay the few days I have past this week, were horrible to me, I felt so powerless in many situations I've gone through. This week I told this guy I was getting to know that I had a crush on him, oops big mistake, he was very sweet and sincere about it , he told me he didn't feel the same way, we are still good friends though. I also found out a friend I really looked up to, abandoned herself and decided to throw away all her dreams and goals in life. I also heard from Juan this week, that was kind of a positive thing this week! I've been drowned with lots of school work and projects. Seriously this hasn't been a great week as I thought it would be, but no matter what I am not going to let all of that destroy my positive way of seen whats in front of me! Oh by the way Valentine's is coming and I rather it wouln't ... too many happy couples just makingit worst for all of us who are not in a relationship. There's a good thing in there I will get to share my love with my friends who don't ever forget about me...

Awsome!!

2006-01-27T19:05:00.001-08:00

Today was an awsome day! I didn't have classes today but I still went to school anyhow, later today we went to Walgreens to buy some junk food we wanted, cause we were going to my pool. A group of my friends came it was so cool, I got to see my friends and we just hung out it was pretty cool! We were 4 girls and 4 boys all of wich only 2 of them are a couple. I got to hang out with my ex crush who turned out to be a pretty nice guy and he is so self assure! He is truly awsome, anyhow I can only see him as another of my many friends so at least I have the certainty I made an awsome new friend! I wish I had a better vocabulary so I could use another word rather than; cool & awsome!!! LOL...

One step closer!

2006-01-24T13:01:00.000-08:00

All right! I have been ejoying this last 11th grade semester a lot. I've been going out with my friends, I've gotten to know better some other people I knew. It's really been a blast! I am now one step closer to becoming a senior and making a memory with the people I care about! Yay!!!

SCHOOL!!!

2006-01-14T09:33:00.000-08:00

School started, not that big of a deal! I got my report card and I aced each class with A. I was very excited ! I got to see my classmates and friends. I also got to see the guy I was crushing, everyone is doing just fine and I am really glad. I hope this new semester will be as great at the end as the other was! I hope I get into a really good universtity and I also wish to find what I am truly pationet about...

Getting ready!

2006-01-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

This is super sad, I start school in a few weeks and when I do I have to turn in a science fair proyect I was assigned! Bummer! Anyways I am enjoying the last days I have left, we are going to the movies and maybe grab something to eat on the way home or so I was told by my mother. I miss my friends and I am a little bit excited to go back to school because I'll be able to see my friends and... You all know! lol! bye